Perfected for Sin

1:1

"Hey I think I'm going to go."

"I'll go if you wait a little while."

Autumn was helping her mom with something in her office.

"It's alright, I'm just going to go before it gets dark."

"Dads keys are in his truck already, be careful. Ask Jas to go with you."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Tanner drove in silence with her youngest daughter in the passenger seat.

Jasmine locked her fingers in between Tanner's as she began to speak.

"It's okay to be sad, Momma."

"Not when people dependent on you."

"Everyone is sad sometimes no matter how tough they are. It's okay to cry, too."

"I just miss them. They didn't get to see me do anything good, like marry your mom or raise two beautiful girls."

"They're seeing it all and they're proud of you, Momma."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

Tanner sat on the grass in between the two graves as Jasmine sat in her lap.

"I think cemeteries are beautiful places."

The younger girl shifted to look at her Momma.

"Why's that?"

"They're so peaceful and are just filled with a loving silence. It's like they're their own separate island, ya know? Like everything that's happening in the world stops when you enter a cemetery the only thing you focus on is your loved one."

"That makes sense. Are you still sad?"

"I'll always be sad, Princess. Let's get going before your mom calls us."

The ride back was just as silent as the ride there as Jasmine watched the land pass by.

Tanner held the door open for the younger girl who ran inside to find Danny.

"Autumn is upstairs."

"Thanks, dad."

Tanner climbed the stairs slowly, not really wanted to be questioned by her wife.

"Hey babe."

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"I'm just going to go shower."

"You want any company?"

"The showers not big enough, love."

They both knew that was a lie, they'd showered together before during one of their visits.

"I'll go help mom clean up for dinner."

Autumn knew she shouldn't have let Tanner go with out her.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I should have made Tanner wait, she went to the cemetery with Jas and now she's pushing me away."

It had happened before it was their second holiday with the kids, they'd come back to Minnesota for Christmas. Autumn had let Tanner go alone, when she came back she stayed in the room the entire trip only eating after she passed out.

"She needs you right now, even if she says she doesn't."

Autumn made her way into the bathroom where she could hear her wife sobbing.

She undressed before sliding open the shower door.

"It hurts so much."

"I know, baby."

She held the tattooed girl for a couple hours under the hot water until she calmed down.

"You're so strong, love. You hold everything in until you can't take it any longer but it's okay because every time I'll be here to hold you until you run out of tears."