Retribution, A Spencer Reid/Criminal Minds Fanfic

Chapter 33. Inner Power, Borrowed Vision

ANA!

She heard him. It was like a rush of cool water across sunbaked stone. Slaking. Strengthening.

Spencer! Help me! I can’t do this alone!

You’re not alone. I’m here.

He didn’t bring the easy peace that had beckoned to her from within Hotch’s psyche; the calm that was in part due to the old doctor’s influence. What her husband brought was fierce and protective and so overwhelmingly full of love, it overrode her panic more completely than the still serenity she’d been about to access and pull from Hotch’s soul.

She could sense the doctor and Julio. There was relief that she hadn’t drawn calm from Hotch, but there was also a sense of urgency. This search had already gone on too long. Speed was essential, even if she didn’t really understand why.

What do you need, Ana? Why did they send me after you? Reid could feel her masterful effort to pull herself back from the brink of panic, to focus on the task at hand.

I need your memory, your sight. She paused, catching a stray filament of thought from the Palero. What they didn’t tell us, Spencer…I think it was because they were protecting me from having to worry about time. There’s something really bad about using too much of it to do this. I think Hotch’s going to suffer, or maybe Melinda…maybe both. We have to hurry!

He felt her emotions begin to spike again. What do you need to know? If I’ve got the answer, I’ll just tell you!

It doesn’t work that way. I’m supposed to discover it on my own, with effort. I’m supposed to earn the answer. I can’t explain any better. She emitted a small pulse of apology for not having the eloquence or the time to delve deeper into why he couldn’t hand her what she needed. She had to earn, to learn.

Whatever you need, Ana. Take my memory. Take my sight. I’m yours. Take all of me. Just…TAKE…

The landscape of her husband’s mind opened before her, offering itself. Ana searched through it, trying to match up her own faded recollections with Spencer’s perfect, eidetically preserved ones. She knew of the time he’d been seeking Hotch’s lost memories of being drugged and abandoned by Carol Bescardi.

How did he do it? How did he find what he sought? And how much time do I have left? At some point are they going to call it quits? Pull me out of here?

She loved her child. It was unthinkable to leave without her. That was not an option. But she also loved Hotch. She sensed there was danger to him every second she was engaged in this hunt through his psyche. Her presence was changing him. So was Spencer’s. She dreaded the possibility that one or the other, Hotch or Melinda, might be altered, damaged irrevocably.

No! I love them both.

She felt her empath’s heart swell with that love. It fueled her resolve. It was a boundless, depthless resource of immeasurable power. As soon as she felt the strength of it, she surrendered to it; begged it, trusted it to show her what she needed.

And there it was before her. Whether by irony or happy coincidence, the answer to be found in Spencer’s mind echoed the method she’d just discovered for herself. The old doctor had given her the key, but not the means to turn it. That she was required to find on her own in order to claim the ability, the knowledge, as hers.

When Spencer was hunting for Hotch’s memory, what mattered was within himself …it was his own desire to help. He loves Hotch, so what he needed in order to help Hotch found him.