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HER BODY LAYS limp under the thin, white bedsheet, her eyes squeezed shut. She shouldn't be here, she should be at home, in Alexandria. She should be with Michonne, laughing about a lame joke Aria had came up with. She should be babysitting Judith, not laying here on this hard couch. This isn't where she is supposed to be, she's supposed to be with her family, protecting them from Negan.
The smell of bacon hits her nose and she shakes her head, her body bolting upright and eyes snapping open. She pushes the sheet off her body, her feet hitting the cold ground. She rushes to the bathroom, her body falling to the ground as she spits up the rest of what she had the day before. Her body leans back against the wall, her blue eyes staring down at the white tile.
She's exhausted and weak. This baby that's growing inside of her is causing her so many problems. Aria slowly climbs to her feet, her head beginning to spin. Her hands grab onto the sides of the sink as she tries to steady herself. Her eyes raise up from the sink and they meet her reflection in the mirror.
The girl she used to know is gone and is now replaced with a woman who has been through hell. Her blues eyes stay emotionless, yet there is so many emotion pulsing through her body right now. Purple skin surround her eyes and Aria can only guess that is from the stress and lack of sleep. Her usual pale skin now has a slight green tint to it and her peachy lips have no color to it. Anyone who glances at her will immediately be able to tell she's sick.
A body appears behind Aria and she recoils in fear, eyes widened. "You should just do it now. Nobody will miss you or your baby." Aria shakes her head violently, her hands flying up to press her palms against her ears. "Daryl will — daryl will!" She repeats, struggling to convince herself that she needs to stay alive, she can't leave this world, not yet. She has a baby on the way, she has a boyfriend, she has a family. She can't leave them.
"No one will miss you. You're just useless, worthless. All you do is hold people back, you're a burden." Aria's hands ball up into a fist before connecting with the mirror, the glass shattering into tiny little pieces. The body of James disappear out from behind her and she falls back against the wall, a sob escaping her lips as she clutches her arm close to her body. The demons in her mind are coming back alive and she doesn't want them back, she wants them gone; permanently.
The bedroom door slams open as screams erupt from her lips, the voices in her mind becoming louder and louder. "Nobody loves you, you should've just killed yourself when you had the chance." The blood from her knuckles drip down onto the floor. It's hypnotizing, each drip falls in the exact same spot. "I can't take it." She yells, tears pouring down her face as her head begins pounding, the crying and the voices making the headache worse with each word.
Aria's body trembles with each breath she takes. Calm down, babygirl. You're safe. Her father's voice echoes in her mind and tears continue to fall down her cheeks, sadness and despair coursing through her. "I'm not safe." She whispers, head shaking quickly. She's not safe, not in this place. These people, they're dangerous. They killed two people who were a huge part of her family. Her head raises and her eyes catch sight of the man who killed them.
"Hi darlin', you alright now?" Before Aria can answer, she breaks down again, small sobs erupting from her mouth. In the back of mind, she's remembering how she had tried convincing her group to just talk to the Saviors but they didn't listen to her. They just brushed aside her words, not believing that she knew what she was talking about. They thought she was just a sensitive girl who somehow still hasn't grown accustomed to this deadly world. Her group figured that because she hadn't changed her morals, she was wrong and now, they have to pay the price. They lost two of their family members and they now live under Negan's rule. Aria's feeling resentment towards them for not listening to her. If they would've just listened, maybe they wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe Glenn and Abraham would still be alive. But, it's too late now, the past is the past and Aria — she can't change that, that's what hurts her the most.
If she would've fought harder against Rick's authority; maybe, just maybe, she could've saved Glenn and Abraham's lives. Because now, she realizes that most of this mess is her fault.
Aria opens her stinging blue eyes, her vision blurred by the tears. "Deep down, you — you have a heart. But, you just don't show it because you believe that if you make others fear you, everything will be better. Pretending to be someone you're not is not going to make anything better!" She rants, raising her hand and pointing at the man in front of her before pointing at herself. "I should know because I've been there. I have tried changing myself to fit in and make others accept me but it doesn't work! You lose yourself when you do that, you completely forget who you are. I — even recently, I thought changing my morals would've been the best thing to do but all it did was get two of my group members killed and now, we have to deal with you; an insecure guy who puts on an act to scare people."
