A Collection of Imagines

John

In the Ambiance of Our Undivided

I'm possibly the biggest idiot I know. First of all, I have no idea what I'm doing. He's lying next to me. And I'm about to make a huge mistake.

She seems tense. Lying on the mattress, looking up at the ceiling of my bedroom. She's been tense since we walked in the room. And here we are. Lying on my mattress. Her staring at the ceiling and me staring at her.

Why did I even come here in the first place? This is just a disaster waiting to happen. I can't trust myself around him.

Along with being tense, she seems so frail. Like, I could touch her and she would melt under my fingertips. She seems so precious to me these days and I have no idea why.

It's not just him I can't trust. It's everything about him. Like the way he smiles. The smile that makes my knees buckle.

I can't go on through my day unless I know what she's doing ... or seeing. God. I can't think about her that way. But it's impossible not to.

Or his laugh. The laugh that is effectively contagious. He's so funny sometimes my stomach hurts.

She's different. Not like anyone I've known before. She's young and still has gone through so much. And with a lifelong adventure ahead of her. But I know she's in the right direction. Even though she's lying next to me on my mattress.

Or even his hands. Or rather the placement of his hands. When we are at work, he'll leave me hints when he places his hand on mine or gently slide his fingertips down my arm.

Sometimes, I get this sudden need to touch her. To tell her I'm there. Waiting. Waiting for some moment where we could just be. And I'm hoping now is the time.

I should get out of here soon. He's occupying too much of my brain to think properly. Then, his touch becomes so alarming.

Her skin feels so soft under my touch. I can't describe the rush that I feel when I finally touch her.

I shouldn't pry my eyes off the ceiling that will only make this go further. I want to do this, yes. But I can't. I just can't.

Her chest heaves. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. I'll just stick to where I am now. Unless she tells me otherwise.

His fingertips go up and down my arm and I feel like I'm going to explode. I can't do anything irrational. Anyone can walk in at any time. His house is full of people.

She closes her eyes. Even in a still state, I can tell she's so uneasy. It's wonderful to know that you can know someone's body language after a few moments of talking to them. And observing them.

Maybe if I keep my eyes closed, this feeling will cease. But it only intensifies. I can't describe how wonderful it feels. Even though it's totally wrong.

I collect her bottom lip in between my thumb and my pointer finger. It's funny how some small feature can be so alluring. Like her freckles on her nose. Or her eyes and her smile or her laugh and her cry.

His hand cups my cheek and I let out a quivering sigh I didn't know I was holding. I slowly move my head down to where I could kiss his wrist and I felt him shake.

I trembled. I don't know why I did it, but the affection in her gesture made me shake. God, what is she doing to me?

Once I feel the pressure of his hand on my cheek again, I turn my head towards him and place my hand on top of his. Making my fingers curl down in between his thumb and pointer finger.

Her face is in full view now. She's so close where I can feel her breath on my face. I can hear her rapid heart beat. She wants this as much as I do.

When I slowly open my eyes, I saw a man who I have adored for so long, be so completely and utterly vulnerable. I can't go back now. I'm in too deep.

Her blue eyes are like an entrance to her soul. Her deep, beautiful soul. I decided not to say anything, in order to not ruin this moment. So we just lay here. In the ambiance of our undivided.