A Collection of Imagines

John

I've never wanted you more

White. White light. All I can see. I squint to try to suppress the burning. Where am I? 

I slam open the glass door and run as fast as I could to the front desk. The receptionist doesn't get up from her chair as I scream the name that haunts me till this day and demanded where she was kept. She pointed me in a direction and I was off. She doesn't even ask if I'm family. I think she didn't want to find out. I find the elevator and punch in the floor, anxiously waiting with my hands shaking at my sides. 

I bring my hand up to my face and rub my eyes. God, why does it hurt so much? Where the fuck am I? 

I rush out of the elevator towards the signs that point to her. I search tirelessly for her room number. Once I do, I don't hesitate to open the door. 

I feel something gently pull my hand away from my face. I open my eyes again to find the one face that I was incredibly surprised to see. 

"Hey, how're you feeling?"

It takes me a couple seconds to respond. I try to speak something, but I'm interrupted by the door flying open. 

My heart stops at the sight of the scene in front of me. He's here, leaning over her frail body. She ... she's so frail. She looks like she just came to. Totally confused and searching the room for answers. My chest hurts that I can't go over there and push that fucker off of her and comfort her myself. But no, I have to stand here and pretend that I didn't just burst down the door to aid the love of my life.

The man that I wanted and expected to see is just as astonished to see my boyfriend sitting next to me, acting like he hasn't been present in my life for about two and a half weeks. I look in between both of them. Still nothing comes to mind on what to say. I finally look at Alex, "Y-You're back?" 

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but ...,"

He looks over at John in the doorway and then back to me. He takes my hand in his.

"I want to make this work. I know that I was a jerk to you and you don't need to say yes to me now, but I would love it if you ... could give me another chance? Give us another chance?" 

I look back to my best friend. The man that had comforted me day in and day out about this asshole of a man sitting right in front of me. He was the one that held me while I cried and told me that everything was going to be okay. 

That mother fucker. He goes away for two weeks and he thinks he could just come back and everything will be okay. Like she'll take him back. She would never take him back. ... Right? She did tell me that she thought he was the one and that she couldn't get over him in a heartbeat. I mean I came to her apartment and I found out that she had been crying on her bedroom floor for hours. I knew that she needed time to heal and I helped her. In a few ways, but that's what best -- No. I'm not friend zoning myself again. That's not what happened a week ago. That night was everything to me.

My eyes scan his face to see what's going on in his head. I know that he's pissed at what he just heard, but what I want to know is what's he going to do about it. I have no idea if I'm going to say yes to Alex, but I know that I can't deny the affection that I have with John. That night was amazing. I had just come home after a long phone call with him at work and he had brought food and movies. We sat on the couch for what seemed like hours. We threw popcorn at each other and laughed about Breakfast Club references. He said some crude comment and I hit him playfully and he grabbed both of my hands. I stayed stagnant, not knowing what to do.  His eyes moving from my eyes and my lips. My breath hitching every time when he made eye contact. I remember a longing like I never left before. Nothing like when I was with Alex. The taste of his lips was better than anything I have ever had. 

Flashbacks from that night haunt me to this day. Looking at her now, the only thing I want to do is walk away with her. Take her somewhere remote and devour each other once again. Even now that I see her in this hospital gown with wires hooked up to her and her ex-boyfriend asking for her forgiveness, I've never wanted her more. I want to shout it at her right now. I know that would be completely unwarranted, but I just want to yell in front of him, I NEVER WANTED YOU MORE! DO YOU GET THAT! The door creeks open again and my gaze is ripped from her and turned to the doctor in the doorway. 

"Hello, Miss. I have your results from your scans." 

"Wait, what happened?"

"You fainted in the middle of one of your classes." Alex looks at me with a confused look. Yeah, you piece of shit, I was there for her. Why do you think she's in the hospital in the first place, you fucking asshole?

"And while you were sleeping, we had some tests done in order to find out what happened." 

I sit up in the bed, taking my hand away from Alex. His face falls as I look at John one last time. A smirk appears on his face and I shake my head at him. I know how he feels about Alex, but he doesn't have to appear so happy when I reject him in front of him. I look towards the doctor. "And ..." 

The room falls silent at the doctors words. He goes on to say how long its been going, but I'm glued to her face. It's frozen with shock. Her breath is slow as it goes in and out of her mouth and into her lungs. Through the same lips that I admired for some time. Her skin literally pales in front of me. The only thing I want to do right now is be at her side and tell her that she's going to be ok and that we'll figure this out together, but I know that she wouldn't want me to move towards her in front of him. I see him lean back in his chair, his hands going to the back of his head. Of course, he thinks he's the father, but he hasn't been around as long as the doctor says how long the pregnancy has been. That's my kid in there. Holy fuck. She catches my gaze, her eyes bleeding into mine. Alex looks in between us, but I don't give a shit if he finds out in this moment. The woman I love and have loved forever is caring my child. 

Fuck.