A Collection of Imagines

Nick

Don't say 'too'

The last class of the day and I feel like my body is going to give out at any second. I feel slow. Like I can't function. Like I'm running out of fuel. My fuel is no longer existent however. And my engine is about to  stop. How long has he been gone?

She's in one of these classrooms in this boring hallway. I don't know exactly why I'm here. Do I really forgive her after everything? Should I?

The professor says something to the class and all I hear are murmurs. Like the world became fuzzy. Like everyone else is in fast motion and I'm stuck in one place. I've been stuck in the same place since he left. Dark and miserable.

I recognize the door with the number 200A above it. She did a terrible fucking thing. Why am I even here? I turn to leave, but then something strikes me. I came here without thinking, like my body took over my brain and decided where to go. Like it knew what it wants. What it needs.

I sink myself down my seat, not even bothering to take notes. I was gonna fail this final anyway, regardless of how it went. If it ended up with me spending every single second with him or sobbing in my vacant dorm room. I guess I was doomed from the start. All I did was prove myself right.

I shake my head, trying to great rid of those crazy thoughts. How could I ever forgive her? I walked more down the hallway. I then thought of my empty apartment. Then of the lonely sheets on our ... my bed. And how the pillows have lost her scent.

I look down at my hands. I'm paler than usual. Thinner. When was the last time I ate? For some reason I can't remember.

I close my eyes in frustration. It doesn't help. The image of her beautiful eyes burn from the back of my skull. Fuck, she was so beautiful I can't even get her out of my head.

I turn to the people next to me. There is a couple, holding hands under the table. Smiling at each other every so often. I wanted to throw up. It was disgusting and surprisingly ironic. Like the universe planned that to get back at me. Can't you see I'm already suffering!

The image of her skin on mine enter my mind. Every aspect of her being haunts me and she isn't even dead. The mornings used to come so easily when it came to waking up next to her. Now, they keep becoming more and more difficult. I quickly turn around and place my hand on the doorknob, not yet opening it.

I place my hood over my head. I catch a small whiff of him. My heart came in contact with a sledgehammer. Tears fill the brim of my eyes, trying desperately not to overflow. 

God am I really gonna do this? She probably doesn't want to see me anyway. ... Like hell she doesn't. I place my palm on the door. I stop. I felt something course through me. She's in there.

I place my face in my hands. Trying not to be seen. As quickly as it came, it was gone. The feeling. Is he here?

Without thinking, I open the door, making a large clad against the wall. I scan the room and look at some blank stares of strangers. The professor says something like I shouldn't be in there. I can't hear him. I'm focused on the girl in the front row with the hood over her head.

I hear the door slam open. I don't turn around. I know he's there. I'm too ashamed to turn.

She still hasn't turned around. The professor is yelling at me to go away, but I don't budge. She cannot deny me now. Too late for that.

I can't move. It's not that I don't want, it's just that I can't move. My body is frozen in place. The professor is still yelling at him in the back. Why is he here?

I've been in here for ten seconds and she still hasn't turned around. I need her to turn around. I call out her name.

At his voice, I turn around. He's standing at the top row. Black t-shirt, black pants, black sneakers, and black under his eyes. He hasn't been sleeping either. I didn't think I would be happy of that.

She whips her head around and I freeze. She looks so miserable, yet beautiful at the same time. I remember when we were together and whenever she got stressed, she would come to my apartment with her hoodie up and crawl up next to me. That's all I want to do with her now.

Staring at him makes everything come back. The good and the bad. God I love him so much. I stand up and make my way to him, despite that the professor keeps screaming my name.

She gets up suddenly makes her way down the aisle and frantically runs up the stairs. Time seemed to move in slow motion. Each step she took felt like twenty minutes each. I can't explain the feeling when she finally reaches me.

I wrap my arms around him and he catches me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Like I was holding it the whole time he was away. After a second, I pull him closer. I tremor, letting my tears fall.

She starts to cry against my chest. I place my hand on top of her head and push back. I kiss the top of her forehead and look down at her tear soaked face. She has never looked at me this way before. It made me feel like I was the most important person in the world to her. She should know that I feel the same way about her.

He smiles back down at me. I can't believe he's here. I don't think I'm capable of feeling this way about anyone else. He has forgiven me... Has he forgiven me? I get an answer when he pulls me back into his chest.

I pull her closer to me. With my chin on top of her head, I can see the room. The professor is still yelling at us and everyone is wide eyed. Yeah, I just got my girl back, avert your eyes.

I uncontrollably start crying in his chest. Words spew out of my mouth. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shhhhhh .... It's ok. I forgive you. It's ok." I tell her to get her stuff. The professor finally silences when she reaches her seat. She grabs her things and wipes her eyes. She reaches me again and I grab her hand.

He takes my hand and drags me outside. He doesn't say anything to me as we reach his car. I understand though. I think we said everything we need to. The parking lot was vacant and he opens the passenger seat door and I jump right in.

She gets into my car and I slam the door shut. I speed walk around to get to the drivers seat. I get in and immediately our lips meet. I can taste her tears against her lips. I missed this feeling she comes with.

I'm desperate, yes. But, I have an excuse for it. I thought I lost him forever. And now that he's back, I don't want to mess this up again. He pulls me into his lap and I put my hands in his hair. I missed this feeling he comes with.

She melts into me the second she's on my lap. Her hands go into my hair. I pull away, "You better not fucking do that again, ok?"

"I'm promise. I swear, I won't. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Don't say 'too'. It just sounds like you agree with me."

"Seriously, you're not in any position to make requests right now."

"I know. I'm sorry. I love you."

"I love you."