A Collection of Imagines

Adam

More like a Phillip Altman imagine 

Irredeemable Asshole

Well, nothing too bad can happen today, right? Not like I could cause too much damage, but I'm not the one I should be worried about. God, this could go horrible. All of them are coming back. All of them. Hilary said that we need sit Shiva for Mort. I don't think that's actually what he wanted, but the sentiment wouldn't go unnoticed. I saw right past Hilary's lie. She just wants all of her kids in one space. I don't blame her. They haven't been under the same roof in so long that I believe the last time was my high school graduation. Actually, Phillip and I's graduation. A whole new wave of cringe flows through me. I don't want to reminisce on that. I wish I would have worn better shoes because as I walk up the hill to Mort's grave that is surrounded by people wearing black, my heels are sinking into the wet earth. I have to make a note to clean them off before I walk into the house after this. Looking down, I smooth out my dress. It still has wrinkles in it since the last time I wore it. Well, after that experience I wanted nothing to do with this piece of clothing. The fact that her grave is just down the hill from Mort's makes me uncomfortable. They shouldn't be resting in the same vicinity as each other. Mort was a much bigger person than she will ever be. I don't stop in front of her grave. I don't even glance to look at it. Instead, I stare down at my hands and groan when I find that there are still marks from the paint I used this morning. I dig into my skin with my fingernail, trying hopelessly to scratch the dried pigment off. I wanted to look nice for Mort's funeral and not like I just got off of work. 

"Adley."

I hear Hilary's voice on the top of the hill. She moves through the crowd of people like Moses parting the Red Sea with her arms open wide. The smile on her face puts a half-assed one on my mine. I don't know how she isn't a mess right now. She's probably still taking those pills I told her not to take, but that's a discussion for another time. I tread up the hill to embrace her. Wrapping my arms around her, I can't help but notice the pressure of silicon crushing my chest as she hugs me. They make her look younger, I'll give her that. Mort didn't mind the change either. Who could blame him? 

"How are you holding up?" 

I say as I rest my chin on her shoulder. I pier behind her to find the coffin resting above a giant hole in the ground. "I could be better. How about you?" We speak as if we hadn't seen each other three days ago. As if we weren't sitting next to each other as we watched Mort's heart monitor slow to zero beats per minute. We're trying to hold one another together, but that doesn't change the shakiness in her voice. 

"The same." 

I pull away from her embrace to find that smile again. Only this time, her eyes have betrayed her. She draws in a breath to stop herself from crying in front of me. With a hand on the small of my back, Hilary guides me towards the coffin and into the crowd of people. 

"Come on, lets get this over with." 

I chuckle to myself at her joke, but deep down I know that it wasn't meant to be one. This is going to be a horrible day. "Everything is ready at the house." Her hand moves up my back and gives me a small pat in between my shoulder blades. She smiles as she does this and I know that it translates to a non-verbal thank you. She has been thanking me since the day I began to help her with everything. We have both grown tired of the words. I smile back at her. Merging further into the crowd, I spot Wendy. She's as frantic as usual, like the good mom that she is. She bounces her two-year-old daughter on her hip while she tries to contain her four-year-old son, Cole, from running around the cemetery. Her husband, the workaholic jackass Barry, paces behind her as he almost screams into his blackberry. He's no help, but we all knew that. "Hey, buddy." Bending down swiftly, I catch Cole before he races past me. He looks up at me and realizes who had stopped him from flying down the hill again. I half expected him to throw a fit, but he smiles wide once he sees my face.