Izuna Uchiha

Intro (The random version)

"Ouch." I said simply.

Ouch indeed. Every bone in my body had been run over by what felt like a 10000000 pound truck. What?! Moi? Exaggerating?! Le gasp!! How dare you!

"Oooh look!!" I cooed weirdly as I spotted my dead body.

"ROADKILL!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs while pointing at my mushed and limp body.

"My inners have become my outers." I said solemnly.

It was a sight to behold, even Bones and Booth would be impressed at how mutilated my body was. Put a body in a bathtub of bleach? Bury someone alive? Get hit by a truck? *wink* *wink* Get the reference?

Heehee... haha...oh man... this sucks.

I messed up. Real badly. Now I'm dead.

The cops had arrived at the scene along with a crowd of bystanders. Mothers were covering the eyes of their children.

Well, excuuuse me for being so horrible to look at. I'm not that ugly. At least, I wasn't before...

"Aw, I didn't want to die like this... I wanted to jump into a volcano..." I whined, "Or attach myself to a giant firework and explode with it!"

In simpler terms, I wanted to go out with a bang (un)!!!

Though... running straight into a truck is not a bad option...hmm?

After calming down and poking my dead body a bit my face became serious.
I'm weird ok? Not an idiot.

In fact I was actually smart. *scoff* it's not too hard to believe is it?

I was going to be an anthropologist, I was so inspired by Bones that it became my dream. Though, I also wanted to be a lawyer, a detective, teacher, police officer, ghoul, consulting criminal, d/j and a ninja.

In fact, I was smart enough for all those jobs! Except a ninja! I definitely wasn't at all qualified for that. Thankfully I wouldn't ever become a ninja.

'So I'm dead.' I sighed mentally, 'I guess I'll just go haunt someone or something...'

"Or you could um...you know turn around..." a voice called.

"God?!" I gasped.

"What?! No-I-ugh just turn around. Please child." The voice said.

"Ok then..." I muttered and turned around.

Well fudge. Howdy! Well look who it is! The Sage of Six paths!

"The Sage of Six Paths!" I yelled.

Yes, the Sage of Six paths.

"Really?" I asked.

Yes...

"Um...who are you talking to?" Hagoromo asked confused.

"The narrator/author." I chirped.

Hagoromo sweat dropped and pretended to know what that meant.

"Ok then..."

"How long have you been there?" I questioned.

"The whole time." He said.

"The...whole time?" I asked slowly.

Does that mean he...saw me being weird and screaming ROADKILL or poke my body? Usually I'm not like that! Honest!

It just happens every once in a while. Like when people have pent up energy they need to use up. Same thing with weirdness.

"The whole time." He said with a knowing look.

"We will not speak of this." I said solemnly.

"Agreed." Hagoromo said amused.

"It will be like our own Cantaloupe Happening." I said nodding while reminiscing.

"What's- oh nevermind." The Sage muttered not wanting to even know.

"Anyways what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Offering you a chance for reincarnation." He said.

"Ok then... wait what?" I asked.

But Hagoromo had begun reincarnating me the moment I said 'Ok then...'

"Fix all the mistakes yada, yada.." he said absentmindedly.

And then a whoosh sounded.