𝟓𝐬𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐕𝐨𝐥.𝟏

'Heartbreak Girl' by 5sos (Ashton Irwin Fluff)

Summary: Ashton has feelings for his friend, who keeps choosing the wrong guy to be with.
Based on Angst Prompt #38: "We are not just friends and you fucking know it." 
(Roughly based on Heartbreak Girl by 5sos) (Request: FunnyFangirl95) (Words: 1.6k)
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'It's not the same anymore', he said.
'I love you, but not like that, anymore.' he said.
So I found myself walking alone in the middle of the night, drenched by the falling rain. After I left his apartment, I just began walking aimlessly, trying to wrap my brain around the fact that my boyfriend actually called us quits once more.
Every time he and I break up, he ended up apologizing, begging for me back. But this time it seems different, it feels different as well.
On and off and on and off ha brought me to feeling numb at the sudden turn of our relationship. I am heartbroken but after a million times of being betrayed by him, heartbreak has become more of a tiring condition for me.

Without realizing it much, I find myself in front of Ashton's door, waiting for him to open it.
"(Y/N)... What are you doing here? Are you ok? You are drenched... Come in." Ashton panics, trying to read my face for any clue of my state.
"I am fine. I don't even know how I got here, really." I mumble under my breath, too worn to let out anything else.
"You really don't look fine. And you are shivering." He comments, shutting the door as I get in.
"I am sorry I came over uninvited. I really didn't want to go home, so I just started walking... But I ended up here. I am sorry, I should go..." I break down, pointing to the door. Ashton pulls me in for a hug, kissing the top of my head as I finally let my feelings express freely.
"Don't you dare leave. My house is your house too."
"I am going to drench your clothes." I sob, trying to move away from him, but his arms wrap around me even tighter.
"Fuck the clothes. Tell me you are not hurt. Do you need me to drive you to the hospital?" He asks, only now pulling away from me to inspect me and my physique.
"I am not hurt. At least not physically." I rub my eyes.
"Then, what is it?" He asks me.
"He broke up with me. Said he doesn't feel anything anymore." I mumble, shrugging my shoulders.
"Again? I feel like I have had this conversation with you 10 times this past 6 months."
"I know. I am sorry I keep on coming back to you after that. But you are the only person I can talk to."
"You are always welcome to come here, no matter what. And you are always going to be welcome here. Now, you will slip into a shower and stay there for as long as you need, and I'll bring you dry clothes. And, while you are in there, I will order some pizza and we are going to talk until we fall asleep." He orders, giving me his signature grin.
"I don't want to talk about it, nor him. It feels like my tongue is stuck in the same conversation lately. But I am not saying no to pizza."
"Of course you aren't. You know where everything is, let me give you some towels and clean clothes." He presses a kiss to my forehead before we make our way to the bathroom.
"Once you change, I will throw your clothes in the dryer, ok?" Ashton says as he hands me the fluffy towels. I nod my head and he smiles, getting out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
I strip off my clothes, placing them on top of the humper before I slip into the shower cabin. I let the warm water run on my body, offering me a calming sensation, much needed after today's hecticness. I feel kind of hollow, not sure if it is because I am over it, or just sure that tomorrow morning he will call me and say he didn't mean it. And blindly, I will go running back to him. Or at least that's normal for us. I don't want to go back to him, but I have invested so much in this relationship that it feels stupid throwing it all away because of a mood swing.

I dry myself off and get dressed before I walk into the living room, finding Ashton waiting for me with 2 blankets on the couch.
"I figured that you would be cold after walking in the rain." He smiles sweetly before he pulls me to sit on the couch. I bring the blanket to cover my lap, curling into a ball on the couch.
"The pizza will be here in a few minutes. And I have coke and icecream in the freezer, so pick a movie and let's have a brain freeze together." He cheers, plopping on the couch.
"Not a movie. Let's watch Bob's Burgers." I push my eyebrows up, smiling at him as he groans frustrated.
"You always want to watch Bob's Burgers." He huffs.
"At least I am easy to make up my mind." I point out and grab the remote control from him.
"That you are. I'll bring glasses."

We must have watched at least 10 episodes before falling asleep. I wake up in the morning, my head on Ashton's shoulder, and a light buzz on it. The T.V. is still on, but it is on the homepage of Hulu, so it is quiet in the house. Ashton is sleeping soundly, his colored red locks falling on his face messily. I pity walking him up, after everything he did for me last night... And every other time he became my shoulder to cry on.
I nuzzle up against the couch, shutting my eyes and trying to go back to sleep for a few more moments. But my stomach grumbles, so I fail.
I stretch my body to reach for the pizza box at the end of the couch; if I remember correctly and my mind isn't fooling me from permanent brain freeze damage, there is some leftover pizza. And nothing tastes better than cold pizza for breakfast.
But on my way to picking up the box, I accidentally wake up Ashton, who groans instead of saying 'Good morning'.
"Hey. Wanna split the leftovers?" I ask, smiling at him.
"Give me a goddamn slice." He mumbles as I open the box. I hand him one, watching him as he sinks his teeth into it and moans at the taste.
"How are you feeling?" He asks me as I take my first bite.
"Great. I don't even expect the call from him anymore."
"The call?" He asks, knitting his eyebrows together. 
"The one he is going to tell me about regretting last night and how badly he wants us to be back together." I explain, earning a hum from him. 
"If he calls, are you going back to him?" He asks.
"No, I don't think so. I need to end this circle." 
"Good, cause I don't want you going back to him." He says, cocking an eyebrow.
"Of course you don't. You are my friend, you want what's best for me." I state and Ashton sighs, dropping his slice back in the box before he rubs his hand over his face. 
"What?" I ask, looking at him in confusion.
"We are not just friends and you fucking know it." He groans. I still look at him confused, unable to understand his little tantrum. 
"Huh?"
"We are not just friends (Y/N). At least you are not just a friend to me. Not since the day I felt you around me and heard you moan my name."
"Ashton, that night..." I stutter but he stops me. 
"I know. I know we said that that one night was a one-time thing. But I can't remember to forget those moments. I can't forget what it was like holding you and hearing you moan and kissing you. To me, you are not just a friend. Not anymore." 
"Are you saying you..." 
"I see you romantically if you want to put it in that way. I don't know if I am in love with you, since I always have to hold myself back from seeing you through that spectrum, but at the reminiscence of what was like holding you, feeling you, making love to you, I know I want to fall in love with you." He confesses, without looking at me; it is hard watching him get awkward around me, he is always breezy and charming. 
"Ash, I really don't know what to say." 
"I know. I just wanted to let it out."
"Listen, that night was amazing. Truly."
"But..."
"There is no but, Ash. It was amazing. Just... I've never imagined it turning into something more. I guess because I was already in a relationship." 
"Yeah, I figured..." He sighs. 
"Now what?" He asks, putting me on the spot. I rub my hand over my face, trying to figure out a way to word my unsettled thoughts.
"Listen, I have just gotten out of a relationship. A bad one. And yes, I am not going back to him, but I still need some time to figure out a way to come out of this in one piece. And of course, we have to find a balance for this new relationship, or what we are going to call this. And last but not least, let's take this one step at a time. But really, one step at a time. Let's just go on a date... Then another, and not rush ourselves into this."
"Sounds like a good plan to me. Way better than not giving this a chance at all." He smiles sweetly, picking up his slice again. 
"So, wanna watch some more Bob's Burgers?" I ask, smirking as I pick up the remote control.