𝟓𝐬𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐕𝐨𝐥.𝟏

No matter what, always and forever (Calum Hood Fluff)

Summary: The night before their wedding, Calum and (Y/N) have a talk about their future, which puts (Y/N)'s worries at ease. (T.W: Mention of Pregnancy Loss) 
(Words: 2.2k) (Part 1: Mama Hood, Part 2: Well, do you wanna marry me?)
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I stare at Calum's hands as he drives us through the night; his fingers gripping tightly on the steering wheel, his biceps flexing and close to ripping his black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his tattoos swirling on his skin and most importantly our engagement ring, the simple silver band that hugs his finger and shines under the moonlight and the lights of the car and the road ahead of us.

I run my fingers through his soft curls and smile at the sight of my soon-to-be husband.
"Are you ok, love?" He asks me, his eyes glued on the road. He is always such a conscious driver, concentrating on the road and on our safety.
"Yeah, just a bit dizzy from the whole rehearsal thing..." I reply leaning on my seat. Calum chuckles and takes my hand in his before he kisses the top of my hand.
"My girl is dizzy and it's the only night that I can't cuddle up to her and make it better..." He says, chuckling.
"Well, I am going to get dizzy again tomorrow after the reception probably, and you can do all that to your wife..." He says, chuckling.
"I can't wait, kitten." He says, cheerfully.
"Me either.."
"I can't wait to start a family with you..." He smiles at me, stopping at the red light.
My face drops a little bit a few memories from some years back popping into my head.
"Are you alright, dove?" He asks, looking at me concerned.
"Are you feeling dizzy?" He asks again before I could answer.
"No, I just... Cal, we never talk about my miscarriage... I know it's probably not the right time but I am scared... What if it happens again? What if we never get to have a child?" I ask, feeling my eyes brimming with tears.

Calum passes the green light but pulls over in an empty emergency lane within a minute. He turns on his seat and grabs my face in his hands, looking at me with love.
"Babygirl, there is nothing to be scared of... No matter what, I am going to be by your side. We were so young when this happened. I was at the beginning of my career, I was traveling all the time and you were still in college, it would be so hard for us to raise a baby, especially back then when we weren't even in the same country for the biggest part of the year."
"We could still make it... " I mumble as he strokes my cheek.
"No doubt on that baby. But everything happens for a reason. Remember that we had just started our relationship. If we had a baby back then, maybe we wouldn't last... The pressure would be high and the bond we had back then wasn't as strong as it is now.."
"Maybe you are right. But I can't help but think of it... Our baby would be 3 years old now if I..."
"(Y/N) stop. It wasn't your fault. It is common that early in pregnancies. Stop torturing yourself over it."
"Calum, you don't get it..."
"No, (Y/N), I do get it. I lost a baby too. And I wasn't even there. I couldn't be next to you cause I had to fucking stay on that fucking tour. And it hurts me too. Sometimes I stay awake at night and think of how everything could have been so different. I blame myself for not being there to take care of you or go through that with you. So, please don't tell me that I don't get it, cause I do. But I know that we are going to make it through everything cause you and I baby are above all. And I don't care if you won't get pregnant again. We can adopt or for all I care, fill the house with dogs. I love you, you are my family, (Y/N). And that's more than enough." He says looking deep in my eyes.
I lean in to kiss him and he responds almost immediately kissing my lips with the same passion he did on our first kiss.

"Now Mrs. Hood, I have to take you home and put you in bed, cause tomorrow it's the big day..." He says, turning on the engine.
"Will you stay with me?" I ask, laying back on my seat.
"Babygirl, I really wish I could. But I have to go to the hotel, the guys are waiting for me."
"I thought you had your bachelor party 3 days ago..."
"I had my party. They are waiting for me just for a drink and a chat, nothing special..."
"I see...Have fun. And don't get too drunk, you have to be waiting for me to walk down the aisle tomorrow evening..."