𝟓𝐬𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐕𝐨𝐥.𝟏

Homesick (Calum Hood Smut)

Summary: Calum is on tour, and (Y/N) is having a hard time away from him.

(Smut / Unprotected Sex)
This is an NSFW imagine. If you feel uncomfortable reading stuff like this one, please scroll through the chapters to find something you might like. 
Based on Sleep Prompt #2: "I can't sleep, you've been gone for too long."
(Request: _daichiisdad) (Words: 3.7k)
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This time was supposed to be easier. This time, Calum promised it would be so much easier. I would be living in our house, which would be full of our happy memories and that would make me feel better about him being away. I would be having Duke, whose company would make the days go by faster. But it was all bullshit.

This time is the absolute hardest of any time before. He is gone, and the house is empty and every corner holds a memory of us being happy, which makes it harder to overlook the fact that if he were here, we would create many more memories. And Duke is in an even worse state than me, whining and looking at the door for his pops to walk in.

It sucks; I know that the moment he is going to be back, all of this will faint from memory and I am only going to savor in the good times.
But right now, this sucks. I feel like I am drowning in this house like I am suffocating while he is gone. Not because I can't live without him. I can, I have, I just don't want to. But the thing that bugs me the most is the thought of him being able to live without me, or realizing he can actually live without me. It is selfish, I know. But I don't want him to wake up one morning and realize his life will be fine or even better if I never woke up next to him again.

It drives me insane, to the point I have to drink myself to sleep, to the point of not sleeping anymore because I realized this is how addiction starts. And being addicted to Calum is enough addiction for a lifetime.

I pick my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I find his. My thumb hovers over the icon, my gut telling me that if I call him now, I will regret what I am about to say.
Nonetheless, I press on the contact, putting him on loudspeaker and leaving my phone on my lap.
He picks up fast, almost as he was waiting for that call.
"(Y/N), princess... It is like 3 in LA. What are you doing up?" He asks me, his voice groggy.
"You didn't call me." I point out, biting the inside of my cheek.
"I was spent from all the traveling and then the show. I am sorry. I put an early alarm though, to call you in the morning and wake you up for work." He says with a familiar smile on his voice. I stay silent, my heartbeat throbbing in my brain.
"What is going on, love?" He asks after a minute of dead silence.
"I can't sleep. I can't sleep, you've been gone too long. I can't sleep, Calum. I drank myself to sleep too many times for this to be healthy. And I can't breathe, Calum. I can't breathe in this house. I miss you so much and you are gone. You are gone, god fucking damn it. You are gone for too long. And you don't call me anymore. You always have excuses, and you don't call anymore. I miss you, I can't sleep without you. I am a shell of myself nowadays and Duke is looking for you. He is behind the door, whimpering for you. And I don't know what to do. I have no idea what I should do. You are gone and I don't know if you'll be back again. And you lied to me. You lied to me, Calum. You said this was going to be easy and it isn't. And it hurts, it sucks. I don't know what to do. Please, tell me what I should do." I am sobbing by the end of my monologue, my lip quivering and my body trembling. My bones hurt and I am scared of what he is going to suggest.
"You should go to sleep. We will talk tomorrow." He simply says; I can't read his tone, I can only tell his voice is significantly lower than before.
"I am having a breakdown and you are telling me to go to sleep? You think sleeping is going to fix that hollowness inside me? Screw you, Calum. Fucking screw yourself. I am dying and you are telling me to go to sleep. I told you I can't sleep. You heard that, right?" I ask and hear him draw in a breath.
"Go to sleep, baby. You are sleep-deprived and you need to rest. We will talk tomorrow." He says, still holding onto his calmness.
"You think I will be different tomorrow? I have to go sleep on a bed that doesn't have your smell anymore, a bed that has been empty. You think I will be able to go to bed, lay there, and fall asleep?" I ask him, almost screaming at him with fury.
"Then fucking sleep on the couch or in the guest room. I can't fucking help you more on that. We will talk tomorrow." He growls now, letting out his frustration as well. I chuckle through my tears, wiping away my cheeks.
"Yeah, you can't fucking help, Calum." I reply, pressing the end button. I throw my phone across the couch, bringing my face to the cushion and crying on it.