𝟓𝐬𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐕𝐨𝐥.𝟏

Halloween Night (Calum Hood Angst / Fluff)

Summary: After the night Calum and (Y/N) shared, Calum wakes up in an empty bed. (Not smut, but has some mentions of  smutty content.)
(Words: 1.3k) (Part 1, 2 & 3: Halloween Night)
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I wake up in the morning, with Calum's arm around me. I bite my lip and try not to make a single sound; I want to get out of here before Calum wakes up, just to avoid the awkwardness.
I pick up my dress from the floor and my shoes from the nightstand and head to the bathroom, walking on my tippy toes. I need to get out of here. I don't care how I look, I just need to disappear. What Calum and I did has taken me steps back. I need to get out of here and pretend this never happened.
I take a good look at myself in the mirror and try to figure out how I will look human again, with my makeup all over my face and my hair flying everywhere.

(Calum's POV)
"Morning, babygirl..." I murmur sleepily, turning on my side to look at (Y/N). I find just the bedsheets though, making me sit up. I stretch and rub my eyes, removing the sheet from my waist and legs.

I stand up and look around, trying to figure out where she is.
I hear the bathroom door open and realize that she might have gone to the bathroom.
Once I see her though, all dressed up in her costume and trying to be quiet, I cross my arms in front of my chest and stand in front of her, causing her to look at me surprised.
"Hey!" She stutters.
"Hi. Why are you dressed? I was thinking that we could spend the morning in bed and then call Michael to bring the clothes..."I say, my expression turning completely serious. She doesn't answer; she stares at the ground, silently, like a puppy that got scold.
"You wanted to leave? " I ask her, almost stating it. She nods before she raises her gaze at me.
"Calum..."She begins but I interrupt her.
" Don't you Calum me... You wanted to leave, without an explanation, without a good morning. That's what I am for you? A cheap fuck for whenever we meet and then you leave like I am nothing for you? That's how much you respect me? " I growl, clenching my jaw.
"First of all, don't you realize that what we are doing, what goes on between us is toxic? And second, you left too, without an explanation, without a word last time we fucked." She replies. I look at her confused and try to figure out what she means.
"What the fuck are you talking about? It was an emergency and I left a fucking note on the bedside table. And I tried to fucking call you, but you never answered. Next thing I knew, you dropped by my place, threw the stuff I had at your place on the floor, called me an asshole, and left, screaming that you never want to see me again."
"Really?" She asks surprised.
"Yeah, really. And what the fuck do you mean that this is toxic? How the fuck is this toxic?"
"I mean that I can't try to be taken seriously at my work and then have you spanking me and making me call you daddy, essentially degrading me. And we can't just have sex and nothing more, -even if we fulfill each other's fantasies and kinks- when I have feelings for you. Every time you touch me, I fall for you more. Every time you praise my body or cuddle me after sex, my heart explodes and I have a whole damn zoo in my stomach, but I know that you don't feel the same, I know that you don't want what I want. And I can't have false hopes, that someday, you will magically feel what I feel. I just can't. That's why it's better for me to walk away. That's why I wanted to leave before you wake up. That's why I didn't let myself stay and watch you sleep. That's why I was jealous of that fucking girl last night. There... Are you happy now?" She yells, her face red and her eyes glistening. 

"First thing first, who the fuck knows what goes on between you and me, every time we fuck? And who the fuck cares? You are fucking amazing at your job and that's all they should care about. Second, the sex we have is amazing, and it's not just a matter of kinks or fantasies. It's just you and me, expressing our needs. And I could never degrade you, never in a million years. You are the only woman I can be completely honest and open about what I want. And that fucking means a lot. Third, how the fuck you know how I feel about you? I had fucking clothes and stuff at your place, so I could spend the nights with you. Does that mean anything to you?"
"Oh, please... Yeah, ok, you had clothes at my place... So what? We had never been on a date. On a formal date. And don't tell me that you could ever settle on a relationship... An all goodie vanilla relationship. Like a Saturday morning grocery shopping together relationship. Or a Friday night cooking dinner together relationship. Or a just cuddle and nap because I am on my period for a week straight relationship. It's not like you, Cal. I am not delusional." She says sarcastically. My blood boils; does she really think I am that person? 

"Again, how do you know what I want? We hadn't been on a formal date, cause there would be articles with fake accusations and photos of us everywhere. And I didn't want to expose you or our relationship yet. But then you went all crazy and didn't give us a chance. And yeah, I might not want the classic all goodie vanilla relationship. I want the Calum and (Y/N) relationship. I don't mind just cuddling and napping for a week straight cause you are on your period, cause I know that for the rest 3 weeks of the month, we can have mind-blowing sex, fuck like animals. I don't mind cooking dinner with you on a Friday night cause other than the meal, I'll get to spend time with you. And I would fucking love to go grocery shopping with you. I would love to try and have a relationship with you, under our own conditions. That's what I want." I say, my chest rising and falling. She looks at me, her eyes and mouth wide open.
"I don't know what to say..." She murmurs.
"Of course you don't. I'll go out to the balcony for a smoke. You can go if you want. I don't want to pressure you." I say, grabbing my cigarettes from the pocket of my jacket.

I walk out, taking in fresh air before I light my cigarette to drag in the smoke. I just want to clear my head. I know that there is a 99% chance that I won't find her when I walk back in. I know that maybe she is not ready yet. I mean, she has spent months thinking that I am just a jerk that walked out after fucking her, she has spent months trying to freeze her feelings.

I lean on the metal bar that proofs the balcony and just let time pass.
"Can you call Michael to bring us some clothes, baby?" I hear her soft, feather-like voice ask me. She is hugging me from behind, her head leaning on my shoulder blade and her hands on my chest.
I turn around and look at her; she is wearing my shirt, with the top buttons unbuttoned. She takes my cigarette and takes a drag as my hands go to the collar of my shirt that she is wearing. I brush a piece of hair behind her ear and then push her chin up with my fore and middle finger. She blows the smoke in my mouth and I chuckle. I lean in and kiss her, my lips barely pecking on hers before she smiles.
"Why rush, babygirl?" I ask, picking her up and carrying her in the room, as she throws the cigarette away.