Numb

Chapter 22

AN- Hey people, finally got some time to write. As you may know, I've had some issues lately. Luckily, I have made a lot of progress on my basement! So, this will include each sister's reaction to their letters, except Dani's, because I don't think that they would realistically let her read a suicide note at her age.. I might get another chapter out soon, kind of depends on when I can get my thoughts ordered enough to write! Thank you all for all the votes and comments! I really appreciate it!

Christina's POV

I slowly open the letter and start reading. I am already crying silently, my hands trembling as I hold my little sister's suicide letter. I read through it, and am now sobbing. She thinks so little of herself, she believes that we will be better off without her. It's so untrue, I can't even begin to imagine a world without Lisa in it. She's a strong, independent, and beautiful person, we just need to remind her of that. I will not fail her again.

Katherine's POV

I am sitting in my room when Chrissy walks in with a folded piece of paper.

"Kath, I'm going to give you the option of reading this before I give it to the doctors at the hospital. It's Lisa's letter to you. Do you want to read it?" She asks, her eyes red and puffy.

I gulp and reach my hand out for the letter. She hands it to me and sits down across the room. I hesitantly open the letter, my breathing already speeding up as my fingers tremble. I start reading, and by the end of it sobs are wracking my body. I can barely breathe, and the pain expressed in this letter is hitting me like a truck. Christina walks over and hugs me, rubbing my back and comforting me till I calm down a little.

"How can she believe this about herself? We all love her, of course we need her!" I ask Chrissy. She just shakes her head. "What's important is that we get her help and let her know that she is needed in this world, that we want her here." She answers. I nod shakily and take a deep breathe.

"Did she write to everyone?" I ask. Christina nods, "Yes, I still have to give Amy and Lauren their letters. Dani is too young to read something like this, we can tell her that Lisa said she loves her and stuff, but there is no way we are letting her read this. Aren't they sleeping over in the living room?" Christina says. I nod, and she leaves, taking both my letter and hers with her, folding them and putting them in her back pocket as she leaves.

Amy's POV

I am sitting on my bed, scrolling through Twitter and answering worried fans, when Christina walks in. "Ames, I have this letter that Lisa wrote to you. Do you want to read it before I give it to the doctors?" She asks.

I open my mouth a few times and nothing comes out. I finally nod and she hands me the letter. I look up at her, and she just nods before leaving, closing my door behind her. I take a deep breathe and then open up the letter. I read it all the way through. It kills me to imagine her writing this, the little tear marks on the paper showing a story of their own. I let a few tears slide down my cheeks before taking a few deep breathes and start to pray. Again, it makes me feel much better.

I open the door and see Christina waiting in the hallway. I wordlessly hand her the letter, and she puts it in her back pocket. She gives me a quick hug and heads downstairs.

Christina's POV

I walk down the stairs, with one letter left. I pause before entering the living room, and take a deep breathe. I close my eyes and do a quick prayer before walking in. I see Lauren and Dani beside each other in the couch, watching some sort of comedy show, neither of them are laughing though. I must make some noise, because both of them look at me.

I walk over and sit in the chair beside the couch. I then say what I had planned. "Lauren, I've got something here that Lisa wrote to you. I think you are old enough to read it, but it's your choice. Would you like to?"

She looks shocked for a second before nodding and taking the letter, walking into the kitchen. I then turn my attention to Dani, who looks pretty scared.

"Dani, she wrote you one too. I don't think you want to read it though. I can tell you that she gave you all kinds of encouragement and said that this wasn't your fault, she also said to take care of Charles. The rest of it is just her saying goodbye, and belittling herself. You don't need to read that. Okay?" I say simply, putting my hand on her knee.

Dani looks stubborn for a second before seeming to calm down. "O..okay. I guess I don't need to read it. Thanks for telling me...is Lisa going to be okay?" She replies reluctantly.

I hesitate for a second, before answering, "We'll make sure of it. She's so strong, and we'll help her get through this no matter what it takes. I need you to remember that if you are ever going through a hard time or just need to rant a little, we are all here for you."

Dani says, "I sure hope so. And thanks, I'll remember that."

I nod and get up to go to the kitchen. Lauren's letter was a lot longer than the others. I walk in, and see Lauren with her head in her hands, shoulders shaking as she tried to cry silently. I slide into a seat beside her, and put my arm around her shoulders. I sit there and give my silent support until she calms down.

She looks up, and then gives me a hug. I hug back tightly. "Lauren, she'll be okay. I know that was upsetting, but you can see how much she cares about you. We all love you. If you ever need to talk I'm here." I say calmly.

She looks at me for a second, before replying. "I need Lisa, I don't know why God seems to want to take her away from us. I just don't get it..." she then runs back out to the living room and I think about following her before deciding to give her space. I grab the letter on the counter and add it to the rest.

I then head up to my room, and collapse into my bed, asleep before my head touches the pillow.