Moving On [SwaggerSouls]

/Chapter Ten/ Beautiful Messes

I danced around the kitchen as I flipped the blueberry pancake I was currently attempting to make in its pan.

When I was growing up, my mother always used to have a habit of cooking whenever she needed to blow off some stream.

I never really understood what about the task she found to be relaxing, as it took work which loosely translated to stress, but as of today, I think I finally understand.

I had Florescent Adolescent by Arctic Monkeys playing throughout my kitchen as I worked to concoct my meal and honestly, I haven't felt this relaxed in years.

In fact, I felt free. I wasn't waiting on Josh to come home or text, I wasn't worried about what he was doing or where he was right now simply because we didn't belong to each other anymore.

Not that I wasn't slightly concerned with it, I was just so used to being that way. But it was difficult for my heart allowing my mind to go back there.

He had a new life now, with Kimmy, my "best friend".

That realization, no matter how long I knew it, would always hit me like a fucking bus every single time I would be reminded of it.

Hell, I even still dreamed about both of them.

It was difficult constantly having to say a huge "fuck you" to Josh in my mind 24/7 when my subconscious said otherwise.

The only thing that truly distracted my mind from wandering back there was Eric.

Last night was the first time since I moved here that I slept through the night. It was the best sleep I'd had in a while, and I had a guy who I'd only just met to thank.

It's a little late for that though.

Like Josh, he was gone too.

Which sucked, but something really positive came out of it.

On top of that, Pam could've been right. He could've lied straight to my face when he told me he wanted to see more of me.

Yikes.

But it also just meant that I'd dodged a bullet. Maybe Eric wasn't that great of a person after all. Which is fine. He helped me out more than he could've possibly known yesterday and in my current state, I know that I'd never been able to repay him.

Yeah, him leaving hurts like hell, but at the end of the day, it was likely ideal for the both of us.

While immersed in my own head, I'd finished baking the pancakes and placed them down on a dish at my counter before taking a seat and pouring myself some orange juice.

I smiled as I looked down at whatever I'd just made, as the blueberries were smeared just about everywhere on the pancake and just made it look like a smurf or a deformed pretty patty at best.

What a beautiful mess I've just made.

————

Swagger's POV

"So, who's the girl who made ol' Swagger snap in less than a day?"

A new wave of emotion suddenly came over me.

Oh yeah, I'm here right now because I walked out on her just before.

"She's great," I exhaled, "Actually, the whole reason why I'm here talking to you right now is that I kinda sorta left her behind...?"