Moving On [SwaggerSouls]

/Chapter Thirteen/ Refresher

"Good morning Alyssa! Happy Monday!"

Pam chirped as I walked through the doors of the office, carrying quite a few papers in my arms.

"Morning, Pam!" I smiled as I made my way to the front of her desk, "Thanks again for the advice Saturday. Not only did it put me in a better mood, but it really helped in getting me to be more productive." I held up the load of papers in my arms.

"I've been trying to convince myself that life isn't as bad as my mind has been making it out to be since you-know-what, but what I guess I truly needed was to hear it from someone else for once. So, thanks."

"Of course, of course!" She beamed up at me, "You know I'll always be happy to help."

"I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes." I projected her enthusiasm the best I could, but this girl was practically an angel.

She smiled as she began to type something out on her computer, but turned back to me a few moments later, "So, anything else ever happens with that guy? It was Eric, right?"

"Yeah. And no, I haven't heard from him since. I'm not too upset about it though. You were right, he probably was just another douchebag wanting to have his way with me, unfortunately. But at least we learned that sooner rather than later."

I'd be lying if I said it didn't still sting though.

"That's the spirit, Lyss." She shrugged at me, clearly feeling a little guilty for my current predicament, "In the end, he just missed out on a really great person. But you just gotta move on from it and let it roll off your back. The right guy will come along with time. Just continue to be patient and make the right choices. Don't let life bring you down any more than it already has, just keep going and each and every day things will get easier."

"I'm trying my best," I gave her a small smile. I honestly just wanted to escape to my office at this point. While Pam made some really good points (as always), it also was about the five thousandth time I've heard this lecture this week.

I was always grateful for her and her support, it's just when will what she has to say make sense? When would it finally become a reality? When will I truly get over Josh?

When will I move on?

I was basically bipolar when it came down to it. One day, it's "fuck him, he didn't deserve you anyways", the next, my chest would ache so much to the point where the task of getting out of bed would seem impossible.

I just had to keep pushing, and hope that one day it'd all just feel like a bad dream.

After Pam and I had said our goodbyes, I headed back to the security of my office, took a deep breath, and allowed myself to immerse myself in my thoughts.

Today was one of those days where I had to convince myself that getting out of bed would be the best course of action. Pathetic, right?

Everyone constantly feels the need to give me these lectures on how "everything happens for a reason" and how "it'll only get better with time" and I'm sure they're right, it's just the matter of when?

I know I'm not alone in this world. I know billions of people have gone down the road that I'm currently going down. I know I have people who love me for me.

It's just, at the end of the day if I'm aware of these things and acknowledge the amount of truth in them, then why the fuck do I feel so alone?

————

Swagger's POV

"Ugh, fuck."

I shielded my eyes as the sun shone right into my face. I was laying down in my bed, beyond hungover from the events of the night prior.