Afraid | Nikki Sixx {Remastered}

Chapter 20.

Carly's POV (Trigger Warning: Talks of self harm)

I woke up to someone pounding on the door. I slowly opened my eyes and sat up, as soon as I did I saw dried up blood all over my thighs and on the floor. I must've passed out from blood loss. I stumbled to my feet and walked over to the door. I unlocked it and cracked it, only showing my face. I saw Tommy standing on the other side of the door.

"There you are, are you okay? We've been looking for you all day. It's almost time for the show to start, we don't have our stage clothes." He said.

My eyes went wide. "Oh, my god. I'm so sorry, I just passed out. I'll be right there." I said and shut the door.

I quickly cleaned myself up and put my black leggings back on. I still feel very lightheaded, I never know when to stop when it comes to self harming, I think I went too far last night. My whole right thigh is completely covered. I walked out of the bathroom and saw Tommy still there.

"Holy shit, Carls. You don't look good." He said. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine, really." I replied. "I just wanna get down there and do my job." I said.

I started to walk out of the hotel room and saw a cab outside. "That's for us." Tommy said from behind me.

I nodded and just got inside. I sat down and rubbed my temples. I really am not feeling well.

__

Finally, we got to the tour buses that are right outside the venue. I grabbed the clothes rack and started to take it inside. I pushed it into the dressing room and immediately saw Nikki sitting on the couch in there. He looked to me and then quickly looked away. I sighed and started to walk out of the room. I need to lie down, I feel really weak and very dizzy.

"Carly, are you okay?" I heard Mick ask.

I turned around. "Yeah, why?" I asked.

"You just look really pale and you look sick." He replied. "Are you sure? I was worried because you've been gone all day, now I'm even more concerned seeing you look like this." He said.

I forced a smile. "I'm feeling a little under the weather, but I'm fine." I said.

Nikki looked up at me and finally looked at me instead of immediately looking away. "Holy shit, what happened to you?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Seriously, I'm fine." I replied.

I quickly walked out of the room before they could ask anymore questions. I just need to lie down, I started to get even dizzier and I held onto the wall. This is really bad, I can barely make it back to the buses.

I pushed myself off the wall and started to walk towards the buses. I'm sure people that are looking at me think I'm high out of my mind with the way I'm acting but, I don't care right now. I just need to get to the buses.

I walked outside and started to walk over to the buses. "Carly." I heard Nikki's voice. Fuck, I just want to lay down.

I turned around and saw Nikki walking over to me. "Yeah?" I asked.

"What the hell happened to you after I left?" He asked.

"I just got drunk and passed out, that's all." I replied.

"Why would you get drunk? You act like you're the one who got hurt last night." He said, bitterly.

"Nikki, right now is a really bad time." I said.

"I just wanna know why you couldn't say anything back to me. After all I've been through with you, do you realize how badly that hurt?" He asked.

"I–I'm aware of that and I'm sorry, but if you just–" I started to not be able to see anything, I started getting really dizzy. "I–I need to g–go lay–" I tried to say but, then I started to fall forward.

I felt Nikki grab me. "Oh my god, Carly? Are you okay?" I heard Nikki ask, but it sounds like he's really far away.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head and everything went black.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome & encouraged! Okay bye🧸)