Afraid | Nikki Sixx {Remastered}

Chapter 28.

Carly's POV

"What do you think you'll do today?" Nikki asked.

"I'm not sure. Whatever it is, I'll be happy about it." I replied and smiled.

Nikki and I have been waiting for about 10 minutes now, we decided to sit in my house since it's hot outside.

"Remember, when you come back here, call me so I can pick you up," Nikki said and brushed some of my hair behind my ear.

"I will, baby," I said and smiled. "I'm really excited, we haven't spent time together, just the two of us, in years," I said giddily.

"I'm excited for you, Bambi." He said and pulled me into his lap. "I like your house, it's cozy." He added on.

"Cozy is just a polite way of saying small," I said with a laugh.

He chuckled. "No, it's not, I really do like it." He said.

"Well, thanks," I said and kissed his cheek. "Also, I appreciate you being so understanding. I know you wanted us to spend the whole break together." I said.

"Hey, we still have tonight and tomorrow, I understand, babe." He said and kissed my neck. "But, maybe we can have a quickie before your Dad gets here." He murmured against my neck.

"Nikki," I said while laughing. "I don't want marks all over my neck when my Father gets here," I said.

"Come on, I'll only leave hickey's where we can find them." He said and started kissing down my neck.

I was about to give in when the phone rang. "Hold that thought," I said.

Nikki chuckled and I got up, I walked over to my phone. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Carly." My Dad said, his words slurring a little.

"Hey! I've been waiting for ya. When are you getting here?" I asked.

"Yeah, about that..." He trailed off. "I'm sorry, I just.." He trailed off again.

I know this all too well. "You're canceling aren't you?" I asked.

"I forgot stuff that I had to do today, we'll have to do it another day." He said, words slurring together.

"It's because you're drunk again, isn't it?" I asked.

"No, no, no. I just am swamped with work today. I gotta go." He said.

"Well, I'm still free tomorrow-" I stopped talking when the line went dead. I dry swallowed and looked at the phone before putting it down.

"Bambi, when's your Dad getting here?" Nikki asked.

"He's, uh, he's not coming," I replied and looked over at Nikki.

"He canceled?" He asked.

I nodded. "He's drunk, so he doesn't wanna see me," I said.

"Babe, I'm so sorry," Nikki said and got up from the couch.

He walked over to me and kissed my head. "It's fine," I said quietly.

"Are you okay?" He asked, rubbing my back.

"Yeah, of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I replied. "He always cancels on me last minute, he never wants to actually see me. Why would now be any different?" I asked.

"Baby..." Nikki said sadly.

I shook my head. "No, really. I'm okay!" I said and looked at him. "Seriously, why would I really think that he would actually wanna see me?" I asked and laughed.

He frowned. "It's not you, Carly. It's him." He said.

"You know, I thought that too, but when he never makes time to see me and always cancels when he makes plans with me, it has to be me. I mean, all I ask is for him to pay attention to me." I said and walked away from Nikki. "I don't ask for things, I don't ask for money, all I fucking ask from him is to see me!" I yelled.

Nikki didn't reply. He just watched me.

"I don't need him, he doesn't need me, I don't need him. He wasn't there my whole childhood, he wasn't there to see me off to my first prom, he didn't come over when I called him crying about my fiancé cheating on me, even when I begged him to come over, he was never there for me and I'm perfectly fine without him!" I yelled.

My chest was going up and down from how upset I am, I don't know why I'm overly upset about him right now, it's been like this all my life. Why did I think it would be different this time? Why does he do this? Why doesn't he want me? Why does he break my heart every single time?

"Why doesn't he love me?" I asked, my voice breaking. "Nikki, why doesn't he love me?" I asked as the tears ran down my cheeks. "What's so wrong with me that he doesn't even want to be around me?" I cried.

Nikki still didn't say anything. He just walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. As soon as he did, I fell apart completely. I gripped onto his shirt and sobbed, sobbed so hard that my voice was growing hoarse and my eyes started to become sore. I haven't cried over my Dad since I was a young kid, I guess everything I've taken over these years finally boiled over.

Every time he never returned my calls, every plan he canceled on me, every time he missed my birthdays, every single thing he's ever done to me is just all pouring out. It feels like my actual heart us breaking, I feel actual pain in my chest. I'm so tired of this, every year he says that things will be different and every year it only gets worse.

After what seemed like hours, I finally pulled myself together enough to look up at Nikki. He looked down at me and I can see the tears in his eyes.

"Baby, listen to me. Really listen to me," Nikki started and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "You are an amazing girl, the most amazing girl I have ever met. You make me so happy. If your Dad is too blind to see it, that's his loss." He said. I shook my head. "No, Carly. It is his loss." He said more sternly this time. "Honestly? Fuck him. I hate him for making you this hysterical." He said. "He doesn't deserve you, you're too good for him. Instead of getting upset, get angry. Get angry, yell and cuss. Let your feelings be heard and then let them go." He continued. "I had a bad feeling from him as soon as he made plans with you, I knew he wouldn't follow through." He added on.

"Why didn't you tell me that yesterday?" I asked.

"Because I knew you'd be mad at me if I said that." He replied. "I was the same way with my Dad, I would defend him even though deep down I knew that everyone was right about him." He said.

I sniffled and sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this and I'm sorry to do this to you on your break," I said.

"Hey, don't apologize. We still have the rest of today and tomorrow. Don't let this destroy you, babe. Please, he's not worth it." He said.

I smiled a little and kissed Nikki. He kissed back and pulled me close to him. I broke the kiss and smiled up at him.

"What did I do to get so lucky to have you?" I asked.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." He replied.

(A/N: I honestly cried while writing this chapter... This really is how my relationship is between my Father and I. Well, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed. Please vote, it's greatly appreciated. Feedback is always welcome & encouraged. Okay bye)