Dear diary,
I hate life so much. I want to rip my thighs apart.. I have a blade in my phone. I could cut if I wanted to. The only reason I won't relapse is because I don't want to hurt Jack. I love him too much to keep to doing that to him. It hurts him so much. It doesn't hurt me but I refuse to hurt him that much again. The first time we dated I did it daily and it killed him. I won't do that again. I'm eating more because I don't want to black out in front of him. Honestly I don't care about me. I care about hurting him. I love him so much. Seeing him hurt kills me so I won't do it. I care way too much about him.
-Allie
