Dear diary,
Fuck recovery. I give up my stomach now says fat. It's hard not to want to starve when you have a friend that could be a thinspo that thinks she's fat. I promised a friend id eat tomorrow. Yea I'll eat my own sorrow and loneliness. I'm so fat. I'm a fuck up. I'm pretty sure jack doesn't even want me anymore. Is it bad I'd rather be treated like shit physically. At least then they know I'm there and are giving me their attention. It's better than not getting hugged or anything at all. Maybe jack is starting to see all the fat and problems with me. Maybe he'll hate me like I hate me.
-Allie
