FORWARD
Things around me slowly started to change and with it so did I. I used to be happier so much happier than I was now, I couldn't muster a smile without my lips trembling and breaking down in tears. I couldn't laugh without a broke sob slipping out and sad memories clouding my mind. I had changed and it wasn't for the better. I didn't have the strength to return back to the girl I used to be before, although I wished I did.
They told me, that it would get better and that it would take time, but how much time do I need? How much longer must this sadness stay with me?
Everytime I tried to pick myself up it would just erupt from within me the pain in my heart and it's like no one understands. It feels like I have an unbearable weight on my shoulders that just weighs me down everyday, every single day.
But I suppose that's what loss does to you, especially when you've lost more than what you could ever gain. It was painful, thinking about the faces of those who were once alive, just yesterday, cracking jokes, eating, having fun and like that their gone. Just like that and it's at that moment you realize just how fragile a human life is.
Every thought of them brings up a memory and that memory makes me want to smile but that small smile would only be taken over by a wave a sadness because I know I will never get to make more of them and those things that appreciated and that I hated I would never get to experience again and I... I... just can't.
With each death a piece of me died with them. I can't be like the rest, I don't know how to cope. Just how do they do it? How can they do it? Continue with their normal lives continue to find reason to smile and I can't? The sadness was suffocating. It was like a darkness surrounded me and it kept squeezing tighter and tighter till I couldn't breathe.
Every single day felt like this. It was exhausting, everything seemed so exhausting. I'm not strong enough... I don't know how to stop it, stop the tears, stop the pain, stop the overwhelming sadness.
I sat on the edge of the rock at the edge of the forest that overlooked the neighborhood. These were one of the happy places we used to one to all the time. I don't even know why I'm here when all I can do is cry, all it does is makes me sad now.
I took a calming breath and looked at the sky.
"Why?" I whispered with a shake voice as I began crying again.
I felt a sudden hand on my shoulders and I became startled. I almost tripped off the rock and fell only to be grabbed firmly in place. I looked behind me quickly. No one else should be here.
When I looked I saw a monster. I was still alarmed. I didn't even hear him approach and what he was wearing caused some questions not to mention, that giant scythe in his hands.
"Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you"
He kept his distance from me and I wiped my puffy eyes. I sat back on the rock facing him as I tried to keep my composure.
"Who are you?" I asked softly keeping my eyes on him.
He had a hollow endless pit in his eyes, there was no point in trying to read his intentions, but he did look like the -
"I'm death... or sans if you will"
"Death?" a sarcastic laugh almost left my mouth until I say him touch a tree and watched as it decayed.
"...so your death"
"Why are you here... to take me to?" I said almost bitterly
"It was their time-"
