I sat on the Livingroom floor thinking quietly as I drank my juice. My mind had been lost in the clouds as I thought this over, Am I sure I want to do this? I wondered, but I think I knew the answer to that question. I was gonna break up with Fell today.
I thought when you fell in love it was hard to fall out of it, but it didn't seem that way...everything seemed so easy. When I first met him I thought what I felt was real, my emotions, everything. He was like my everything to me, even the annoying things about him I found to be cute and charming, but I don't see it anymore. The feelings I had, the love, there's nothing there anymore. Everything became clearer to me and I started to wonder
SLAM!
I jumped slightly at the sound of the door and then relaxed. I looked over to side and watched as he walked with a scowl on his face and silent growls and grumbles. "Had a bad day at work?" I asked calmly
"What do you think?" He grunted back. I knew he wasn't trying to be mean, it was just the way he spoke.
I let out a soft sigh as I drank some juice, quietly listening to him tear of his shoes and throw his jacket to the floor. He then storms into the kitchen with mire grumbles and curses to leave him as he opened the fridge. I stared into my cup of juice. Was it a good idea to continue with this, he is in a bad mood today,
I thought it over as I closed my eyes and then it drifted. I began to wonder what I saw in him at first, what was the appeal? Was it just the bad boy attitude that attracted me?, no it was more to that and there was more to Fell and soon those things became nothing to me and I felt disgusted with myself. What was I even doing anymore?
I opened my eyes and stood up to put my cup in the kitchen sink. I then stood there for awhile, I came all this way, I might as well do this now.
"Fell I have something important to tell you"
"What is it?" He gives me a suspicious look
"I'm breaking up with you" I said calmly
It stayed quiet for a couple of minutes and I became uneasy.
"What?"
"I said-"
"I know what you said, what I want to know is if your fucking joking"
My lips tightened at the piercing look he gave me and I reaffirmed my response.
"I'm not joking with you"
I decided it was best to leave before things escalated any further but he grabbed my arm.
"Don't you think we should talk about this"
"theres nothing to talk about" I said and pulled my arm away from him.
I walked towards the door opening it as curses left his mouth.
"Wait, don't you think you owe me an explanation!"
"...I just don't love you anymore" I told him and closed the door closing this chapter of my life.
I let out a uneasy sigh and walked down the street to catch a cab home. Whats done is done and there is no turning back, but I feel a bit at ease now.
A month passed since I broke up with Fell and ever since then he kept calling until I changed my number and showed up at my place multiple times but I refused to let him in. Hes stopped now though, but settled for appearing at my job ever so often to harass me. I cant do anything since he comes in as a customer so I have to bare with it.
I feel so exhausted some fresh air would be good. I decided to walk over to a nearby park and set my blanket under a tree. I sat on it and watched as everyone enjoyed there time. The whole scene was so relaxing and with a drink of my tea it made it all the more better. I let out a soft sigh and laid down as I scrolled through my phone, only to momentarily fall asleep.
