Typical [L.P. + N.H. + A.I.]

4.3 - Untitled - Not So Starry Night

Ashton's POV

We made our way to the centre of London. There was a nice night chill, not too cold, not too warm either. We're walking the streets mindlessly, talking about random topics, laughing at absolutely everything. I love how she easily she laughs at things, or maybe it's me who can make her laugh easily. The point is, she seems happy when she's with me and that's all I can ask for. But the thing is with Jessie, she's an overthinker, and she never stops thinking. And she almost never shares what's on her mind unless I either nag about it or she's bottled it up for so long that she just has to talk about it.

Our time together has been very short and for the most part, we weren't alone. But I've caught on some signs, observing her body language. If there's something heavy on her mind, she looks to the distance, most of the time to her right, I don't know why, and she plays with her ring more than usual. This time I almost didn't notice it, I wouldn't have if it wasn't for the loss of contact.

'Where are you going?' I ask after she lets go of my waist and pull my arm off of her shoulders.

'Just here.' She mumbles as she continued walking alongside me.

'Jessie, what's going on?'

We walk past a bench so I hold her hand and take her to sit there. As soon as we sit down, she lets go of my hand and keep to her side, while watching a tree across from us.

'Wow, that tree is very interesting!' I joke, making her laugh. 'Baby, we said we weren't going to overthink and just enjoy the time we have together. But I guess it's not something you can do. Because you can't help it. This!' I gently poke at the side of her head, meaning her brain, 'is always working. So might as well bring me in the loop. Tell me what you're thinking.'

'Everything is fine Ashton.'

'Right, except it's obviously not. One, you said fine not okay. Two, you called me Ashton. Three, whenever I do something like this,' I put my arm around her shoulder and she just shook it off, 'Exactly, whenever I touch you, cuddle with you, you push me away. What's going on? Am I being too clingy? Is that it?'

'You? Clingy? Of course not. If anything, I'm the one who's clingy.'

'Why would you say that?'

'What if...' She starts but hesitates to continue.

'It's okay baby, you can tell me anything!' I try encouraging her.

She smiles again and turns in her seat to face me, so I do the same.

'You're gonna think I'm so crazy stupid for even thinking this. But!' She continues.

'Crazy? Already think you are, and it's one of my favourite things about you! Stupid? Never!'

'Just wait. So we were walking, and I noticed this girl taking pictures of us. So most probably, they will end up online, and rumours will start. And not that I was thinking about him, I was thinking about you going back to LA at the end of next week. But then I remembered that he's there too and I was like, what if, he sees the pictures, get like really crazy drunk, and then try to hurt you because he can't stand that I'm moving on with someone else now. And instead of blaming it on himself he blames it on you and tries to beat you up?'

I laugh for a little while and then say, 'Niall? 5 ft 9? Not a mean or violent bone in his body? Please!'

'Okay yeah fair enough, but the point is, you two are friends... I don't want to cause any problems between you two...'

'Don't worry about it. We're all adults here. I'm sure if this happens we'll find a healthy non-violent way to deal with it. Just talk it out. I'll gently let him know that he missed his chance and that he should move on, and that he should be happy that you're happy, even if it's not with him.'

'Since when you became this wise?' She teases.

'Excuse me!' I gasp dramatically, 'I've always been wise!'

'You know something, I feel lucky to have you here with me. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you.' she says suddenly.

'Aww don't say that! You're just as awesome, kind, loving and caring as I am. I feel just as lucky to be with you. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world and It makes me so happy to be able to give that to you. At least to a certain extent.'

I think maybe Luke is right. I think I really might be in love with my Jessie. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her.

I play with her hair for a while, running my hand through it. I look deep into her eyes, even though it's night and we're outside there's enough light to see the chocolate brown in her eyes.

'I really hope we can keep doing this even after I'm back in LA.' I whisper as if I was hoping she wouldn't hear me.

She laughs slightly, 'Yeah, the technologies are a little behind on this one babe. The best thing we can do is look at each other and talk. No touching.'

'Technology will catch up though, holograms are not that far-off!'

'Yeah, but you can't touch holograms either! It's like I'm talking to a ghost... of you!'

I laugh at the pun she made and then continue, 'Okay, then teleportation! That's doable no?'

'Not in the near future. Hey, who knows? Maybe you'll suddenly get superpowers and become smAsh!'

'Noo!!' I whine while laughing.

'And then you'd be stuck singing DON'T STOOPPP DOIN' WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'! Every time you move to the beat It gets harder for me And you know it, know it, know it!'

I keep shouting, complaining, all the while I'm laughing. I put my hand on her mouth to stop the singing and pull her into a hug. Even though I don't like that song, I don't mind her singing, she has a beautiful voice.

After more discussing and laughing, we decide to walk back. I look back at her every now and then, she's looking up at the not so dark night sky.

'It's a shame you can't see the stars from here. It would've been beautiful.'

'Baby, the only star you need is standing right next to you holding your hand.' I joke.

'Oh my god!' She starts laughing, 'Wow! That was so cheesy!'

'Hey, I tried! And you're enjoying it! You're just hiding it with mocking but secretly you love it.'

'Yeah, maybe I do! Although, you're a bit full of yourself!' I chuckle, then continue, 'For what it's worth, you know how to be romantic when needed. And I like that about you!'

'Of course, you do!'

Jess' POV

Silence settled in while we continue walking. I'm not sure if it's awkward or comfortable. But I know that I don't want to be anywhere else. It's still so weird and unfamiliar, what I feel for Ashton. I wish I knew what it was, I wish I had something to compare it to so that I can understand what I'm feeling.  People say if it's love, you'll know it. But does that mean that it's not if I'm not sure if it's really love or not? Who can I talk to about this? I'm still not sure where we stand. Maybe Louis? I wish I had female friends, maybe that would be more helpful.

We get back to my flat, he's standing at the door.

'Not staying?' I ask him with a sad smile.

'It's getting late and the guys are asking about me. I should get back to the hotel.'

'Alright! Say hi to them from me, please. And, see you tomorrow?'

'Yeah, and if not tomorrow definitely the day after. I'll text you or call you. I don't know how long we'll be in the studio.'

'Okay. Good night, Ash!'

He wraps his arms around my waist like he always does when he wants to kiss me, I make myself taller to reach him more easily. Kissing goodbye has become a sort of choreographed routine. Some people might think it's a bad thing, that repetition kills the spark or whatever. But I personally like it. Like I know what I'm getting myself into, it's more comfortable, homier.