The Illuminant

Chapter 6

Studying her closely, I notice the worry lines that begin to form on her forehead.

"Something has to be done." She whispers.

"I've done everything I know to do. The therapy isn't working, the drugs aren't working, (I let out a huge sigh). I'm out of options Tomi." I lean back into the sofa and turn my gaze to her. She then gives me that look and I know.

Shortly after, she speaks up.

"There is one thing though. But I'm not sure you'd agree to it."
I knew it was coming. How could I be so naive to think she wouldn't bring it up. Stubbornly, I look away.

"Thank goodness you know that I won't, so don't even bother." I stand up and walk a few steps away, crossing my arms over my chest.
The sofa creaks and I hear the sound of her footsteps become louder begins me till I can feel her breath fanning my cheeks.

"Look Maya, you have tried everything, everything and nothing worked. What do you have to lose? Why can't you just let go of all that hurt and give him a chance?"

"I already did and what did he do with it?" My tone is considerably low now and adamant, dripping with venom.

"Will you stop being so stubborn, Maya, for once in your life, let go!!!" Her voice rings round the house empty of life except for the both of us.
Instantly, rage begins to build up in my chest and I can feel myself bursting with anger.

How could she?

How dare she? 

She has no right to judge when she doesn't even know half of what I have gone through. I turn to face her, my face red with anger.

"Stubborn? Stubborn? I'm being stubborn because I refuse to let him hurt me again?
I'm being stubborn because you and your stuck up religious friends are too blind to see through this whole fantasy?"

"Maya....... ", it was too late, I had let the anger out.

"......i'm being stubborn because I do not want to be deceived like I was before?"

"May...... "

".....have you considered for how long I have had to hustle my way through life? Of course you haven't, you were busy having it all nice and cozy with your two parents there to guide you through every step. You were too comfortable to look around you and see reality for yourself Tomi!!."

Then all the strength leaves me and I feel  something liquid drop from my face to the ground.
Till now, I didn't realize I'd been crying.

"Maya, I ...... "

"Just go." The words barely come out but I know she hears them by the look of hurt that flashes through her eyes and the way her face falls.
Immediately, I wish I hadn't said that, but it doesn't matter now, I have already gone too far.

There is a long and thick moment of silence. It's so thick that one can easily cut through with a knife.
I couldn't bring myself to look at her.
I know I had hurt her but I just need to be alone.
Without a word she walks over to the door and taking one last hurt look at me, she leaves.

"What have I done?"

Immediately, I sink to my knees and bury my face in my hands, some of my tears staining my palms.
Just then, the door creaks and I look up.

"Oh, dear, what happened? Did you two have a fight? " A smile unfolds on my lips before it is quickly replaced with a questioning look on my tear stained face as I wonder how on earth she knows about our fight.
Obviously, she noticed my expression because she nods.

"I just saw her storm out a few minutes ago and I figured you two had a fight."

Oh, that makes sense now.

"Yeah." I manage to squeeze out.

"Come on honey, you look like you haven't had anything to eat." She places her hand on my shoulders and helps me up. I hug her and bury my face in her blouse.

"Oh mom, I said such horrible things. I'm so sorry. I wish I could tell her that, but I'm sure she won't want to have anything to do with me. "

"Now, now, you're talking nonsense child. Tomi is a good girl. I know that however horrible what you think you said was, Tomi will always be ready to forgive you. Now don't feel so bad about it." She wraps her plump arms comfortingly around me and I can't help but feel grateful that she came when she did.

She pulls away gently from me and holds me at arm's length.

"You can tell me all about it in the kitchen if it makes you feel better."

I jerk a little in panic at what she said  and anyone can tell by mere looking at me that something is amiss. How can I let her know, it would just be the same, maybe even worse.

"If you want to I mean, you don't have to if it would make you feel uncomfortable."

A crooked smile not reaching my eyes spreads across my lips.
But I can't help but notice the look of disappointment on her face before it's quickly covered up with a smile.

"Okay dear, I'm going to prepare breakfast for the both of us since you haven't eaten yet." With that, she waddles off in the direction of the kitchen and I am left standing there.

The tears begin to flow again and I can only think of how much I missed my dad.

                        ※※

I bound off in the direction of my office, bag in one hand and my jacket slung over my shoulder, my heels making a noisy connection with the marble floor.
Rounding the corner leading to my office, I take a few more steps and stop in front of the big mahogany door.
Letting out a sigh, I pull out my keys from the breast pocket of my jacket and slip it in the lock. I gently place my hand in the door knob and push it open.

I hope you all loved the chapter. Vote, comment, and share to show let me know how much you do ❤
Goodbye for now, see you in the next chapter 😊

Chinwe_epistle ❤