It's Sunday and I'm supposed to be getting ready for church since I agreed to go with Tomi but for some reason I'm pacing the floor, dressed in only my PJ'S and sweating even though the weather is chilly.
I glance at the clock for the umpteenth time in the thirty minutes I've been walking restlessly round the large sitting room.
It reads 7:49. I mostly rely on clocks and my phone or laptop to know the time because I'm just not in the habit of wearing watches. I feel it's quite unnecessary since I have a hand set I carry basically every where except the bathroom of course.
I hear the clock tick and it helps pull my attention back to why I'm up at 7:49 on a Sunday morning.
I hysterically run my hand through my tousled hair and pace harder before I flop dejectedly on the loveseat.
I just had the worst nightmare before waking up which is strange because I've been having a lot less of those recently.
Unfortunately, I didn't have any anxiety pills left because I had totally forgotten about them such that when they finished I didn't get a refill.
I had to improvise though so I made my way quickly downstairs to the gym and did a little work out to try and ease off. By the time I was through, I was dehydrated so I got to the kitchen and poured myself a large glass of cool water.
As a doctor myself, I know that exercise and water are both good ways to reduce anxiety and so that's what I did.
I was just about to go back upstairs and probably work on my laptop since I wasn't feeling sleepy anymore when I checked the time on my phone and it said 7:02am. What got my attention though was the fact that it was Sunday.
It all came rushing back to me.
So for the next thirty minutes thereabout, I was pacing the floor wondering what to do and now my face is buried in my palms.
"Oh I can't go to church - not now after so many years and definitely not after a nightmare and panic attack." I groan.
"Oh what'll I tell Tomi, she'll be so disappointed." I wail and stay like that for about five minutes before deciding to just call Tomi and tell her anyway.
I pick up my phone and call her.
"Hey T." I breathe heavily.
"Hey, are you ready yet? You want me to come pick you up?" She asks excitedly and I feel really bad for calling to burst her bubble.
"Yeah, about that...." I pause for a second and go on, "... I don't think I can make it."
"Why?" The dejected tone in her voice hits me hard.
"I'm not really feeling up to it. I just had a horrible nightmare and recovered from a panic attack which I haven't had in a few weeks. I don't know, I don't think I'm good shape enough to come. Please don't be mad, I think I still need some time." I reel out, trying not to let my emotions get in the way.
"It's okay. I totally understand. Take care though." I think my ears just deceived me because Tomi just brushed it off like nothing happened.
Well, I shouldn't be too surprised, she is my best friend anyway and I smile softly.
"Thank you."
"No problem, take care of yourself." She chirps before hanging up.
I smile and stuff the phone into the pocket of my PJ'S and climb up the stairs, the sleepiness beginning to slowly take the mastery.
※※
"Thank you Veronica. You can just leave them there." I motion to the results of the lab test I had earlier ordered for and I check the time on my phone.
"It's really late. I need to go." I say as I pull off my lab coat and hang it beside the others.
"Okay, I'll lock up. Should I round up or wait until you'll be available tomorrow."
YOU ARE READING
The Illuminant
Spiritual~Featured in Wattpad Editor's choice list~ ~Featured in Editor's picks list: (Wattpad's handpicked favorites)~ Maya's dad died when she was four, so she was raised by her mother. Unfortunately, Maya's mother couldn't give her daughter everything. I...
