Diary Kind of Thing

May 12, 2019

Shit. Where have I been?!

I've been doing stuff. Going through stuff. Stuff. You know.

Let's see... recently my school district was hit with a death. An eighth grade student died on Friday. Everyone was hurt by it. We're guessing he committed suicide but I don't think the cause of death has been released yet.

I went through some relationship stuff. It's weird. I never saw myself in a relationship, even though I really want to be in one. He was great. Like, my perfect guy. But it's not gonna happen. Almost. We were close. But it was a mutual agreement that we couldn't because we would hurt someone very important to both of us and we couldn't do that. I still talk to him. We're still friends. It just kinda hurts still.

My sister and my niece moved out finally. It's so quiet around the house. (As I'm writing this my niece just came in my room and asked to stay. Personal space bitch) It's nice. Weird, but nice.

Teenage life is so weird and complicated. Like... the hormones. And relationships. And friendships. It's so hard to figure out.

And I hate that because of my age, I'm not really considered. Like, I can't say certain things cause I'm "still a child and I don't know what I'm talking about." Actually, I do. And it really sucks that no one listens. My dad for instance, I can't say anything to him cause it all has to be his way. Otherwise I'm talking back to him. This morning I dropped my bookbag and I didn't mean to. My bag is super heavy cause I've got binders for days. I seriously didn't mean to drop it as hard as I did. He got all pissed off. Didn't even give me a chance to explain. At first I said "I didn't realize how heavy it was" then I revised my statement and said "I didn't mean to." He wouldn't shut up for two seconds to hear me. I finally said "You never listen to me" and then he goes "I dont? How?" And starts talking over me as I'm explaining. Like, bitch, MY POINT EXACTLY.

Anyways... he pisses me off. Happy mothers day to you all.

I'll try to update more, I always say that then I fail but oh well. Bai bai