Diary Kind of Thing

January 30, 2019

People wonder why I react the way I do. Why I jump as much as I do. Why I have little trust in people anymore.

My so called friend isn't exactly a great person. I was willing to give it a try, 1) because I'm a good person, and 2) my counselor was standing right there.

She does things that aren't good. She hangs out with people that aren't good.

But I was willing to help. Because I don't like seeing good people turn into bad people and do bad things when I have a chance to help them. I have turned many friends away from the edge of giving up, or at least I've tried...

So I tried again. Well I shouldn't have.

I don't mind jokes. I don't mind jokes even when I'm not in a good mood, because I know they are said with good intention. Or.. done.

I trusted my friend with vital information. I trusted her to answer my few questions about a guy I liked. And she did. And I told her to not let anyone know I liked him. And she turned around and told her friend, a man who I've never met. And she told my counsler. Ok, yeah. She might not have said exactly who it was. But I told her not to tell. And she did. She betrayed me.

Now, this has happened before. But I was never upset. I knew I would never see him again and I didn't mind that she told him. Because at that point I wanted him to know. So, Justin, if your reading this... hi.

But I didn't want my newer crush to know. Mostly because he's taken already. And I've backed off.

Not to mention, she was flirting with my bestfriend, in front of me. And even after I asked her to stop. Even when I told her that I wasn't a fan.

Now, this so called friend made an action that has altered our "friendship"

She came up to me today, and slapped me.

Yes, I grabbed her hand. Yes, I said something to her. But none of it warranted a slap in the face.

I grabbed her hand, as she was trying to touch my head. I moved her hand down and said "I'm not happy with you." She released her hand from my grip. And slapped me across the face. My homeroom teacher saw, a full group of people in an alcove across from my homeroom saw. And yet she smiled and kept walking.

Then, when I got home. She texted me and asked if I was mad. Now I'm going to be honest here, I was pissed. That slap stung until I'd have to say fourth period. And I'm honestly surprised with myself that I didn't cry.

She apologized, but the damage was done. I couldn't handle her doing what she was doing anymore. I had already blocked unfriended her on snapchat without a thought. I told my best friend to leave the group chat, as I had already done.

And after the, "I'm sorry" message, I blocked and unfriended her on Instagram as well.

I'm sorry I'm just ranting at this point. But I needed to get it out. I've told friends, who continuously told me to ditch her. I should have listened.

I'm ditching now, because if this goes any farther, I could get in serious trouble. And I don't screw with that.

Thanks if you got this far. Sorry if you got this far...

Anyway... My mom's birthday is tomorrow and then my dad's birthday is two days after that. Godfather weekend is coming up soon! Shrimp and The Godfather and cake and cannolis. It's gonna be good.

And I have a dance with my niece next Friday. My mom is making me a skirt for it and she already made my niece one for a dance she's going to this Friday with my dad.

Oh and my school is doing next year's scheduling already. That's fun. I'm doing all AP and Honors classes so I can avoid them in college to focus on my major.

And it's snowing it's ass off where I am. It's crazy. And we still have school.

And my color by number page gets pretty good views and it's awesome. I'm super proud of it and I met this really nice person through it. (Check me out @8BitBts on Instagram)

But yeah that's my tea for today! Sorry for seeming down in the dumps and monotone.

Love y'all