Diary Kind of Thing

October 20, 2020

Well. We're back.

Remember that time when Wattpad was my entire life?? I would update every day, I would read all the time. Shiit, what happened.

Honestly these past few years have been a long journey of self discovery, for lack of a better term.

I've reviewed the time period before, but I moved, and people were angry. I got into a really bad relationship, which simultaneously ruined me and made me a new person. I moved back, took months to remove myself from the relationship, but when I did I never looked back. I never thought for once I shouldn't have left him. Leaving that relationship helped me grow and move on and leave another toxic relationship that had been growing since middle school. Growing, more like rotting.

I got into another relationship, but when that one broke I thought it would be okay. I thought it was mutual, it was. Until they turned around and retaliated. It honestly doesn't bother me all that much. Life is better without the people who kept me trapped as the naive bitch from middle school.

I'm back at the school I was in for middle school, but now as a Junior. Covid came in and moved everything around, but I'm finding ways to navigate through it. I'm gonna be an aunt again on new years.

I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. I have a whole community of people I barely know who are willing to listen to my endless rants.

Times are tense, it seems like there's little glue to hold this together, but we're managing. Honestly, I'm starting to feel more and more like myself, or at least who I want to be. Every day I'm taking baby steps towards finding myself.

I haven't updated this thing in a very long time. But wattpad will always be my foundation point. This was where I learned to cope through words, stories and far off lands. This is where I simultaneously destroyed relationships and renewed them.

Life is wild, and honestly at this point I'm just hanging on and hoping for the best. But I think it's about time for me to start taking control of my life. It's time for me to start feeling like myself, despite the people in my life who hate my choices.

No one probably reads this any more, but that's okay. I don't need anyone's validation anymore. Its nice, but not necessary.

If you did stick around for the annual updates, thank you. It means a lot.

Love you (platonically, of course),

-Joce