Because I love you || Jungkook

Tear

After class, I head to my locker, stow away my things, and retrieve my sketchbook. Choosing my favorite bench on the school grounds, I plug in my earphones, dive into my favorite music, and immerse myself in drawing. The rhythmic strokes of my pencil have a calming effect; drawing makes me happy. Glancing up, I notice BTS at their table, surrounded by girls.

Jungkook is engaged in conversation with Mulan. It stings to see him smile without me, but I know he sees me only as a friend. He likes Mulan. I'm jealous of her—she seemingly has it all: good friends, the perfect body, and a stellar reputation. The pain intensifies because deep down, I believe they're a perfect match. I don't want to steal his happiness, yet it breaks me. Unbeknownst to me, a tear rolls down my cheek, staining my drawing. I quickly wipe it away.

Jungkook and I became friends through Lea, Mulan's older sister, who used to bully me. Jungkook protected and took care of me. When Lea graduated a year ago, the bullying ceased, and I finally felt relief. Although some hurtful messages persist, I keep them from Jungkook and my brother. I can handle it myself, and I don't want to worry them. Despite the challenges, Jungkook and I have grown closer. We study together, game with the other boys, and every day, my feelings for him deepen. I'm in love, and he can't see it.

Unable to bear the scene any longer, I walk back to my locker, glancing back one more time. Our eyes meet, and I can't look away. Offering a fake smile, he smiles back. How is it possible that he can't see my pain? Why doesn't he recognize what I see in him? When did I fall so hard?

Returning my sketchbook to my locker, I check my watch; there's still half an hour left of the break. I decide to head to the music room. Suddenly, I'm shoved into the girls' toilet. It's Mulan and her friends. I hit my head on the cold floor as Mulan stomps on my stomach. "Leave Jungkook alone; he's mine!" she declares before leaving me alone, gasping for air and in pain.

I sit there for what feels like a long time, not sure how much time has passed. Classes have already started. Eventually, I calm down, and the pain subsides. I lift my shirt and notice a bruise forming in the mirror. It's already turning blue. I get up and leave the toilet. On my way to class, I realize I share a class with Jungkook now. I can't face him, not at this moment.

Changing my route, I decide to walk home. I message Yoongi that I've left because I don't feel well. After a few minutes, I receive a reply: "Okay, take care." Opening the door to my apartment, I head to my room, drop onto my bed, and close my eyes. A notification on my phone interrupts my thoughts. It's Jungkook: "Hey, I heard from Suga that you're not feeling well. Is it getting better? Do I need to come by?" He's sweet, and a small smile forms on my face. I reply, "No, I'm old enough to take care of myself." I can't bring myself to tell him what Mulan did. What will he think of me? That I'm a jealous person? Or will he believe me?