Always and Forever

1. Intro

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I am Hayat and I love my profession as a doctor . You get an opportunity to save a life daily, so why should I not love it. I work in a small hospital near our locality and in my leisure time I help the affected people in the war camp nearby . I am not planning to become a cardiologist or an oncologist in the near future , I am just content with the life I am living . My happiness lies in the smile of the victims who have faced a life or death situation and are healthily breathing now.
I live with my brother Rafan and his wife Aaliya in syria. Don't show me your sympathy after knowing that I live in syria ,  because u know life here is so difficult ,when people from other parts just tell that tomorrow is not a promised one ,here we mean it that tomorrow is never a promised one with all our heart and mind , once we were scared but now we are used to the sound of bomb blasts , shrilling cries of people who are breathing their last breath in pain ,the ever lasting hollowness in the eyes of people who have lost their loved ones and it goes on... I've lost my parents at an young age that I don't even remember their faces. But my brother had witnessed their death which made him temporarily paralysed for years and later he recovered from  it by continuous medication. so he's just over protective about me and my elder sister sarah. He tells us that he does not want to see us suffer here.That's why he got her married to an canadian and she lives there happily with her lovey dovey husband Junaid .
But the most positive thing about living in a such a place is that we live our life to the fullest, we enjoy each and every small moment because we don't know whether this is our last living moment or not .we smile at the flowers ,the green grass which are rarely found in our area due to all the unwanted toxic and hazardous substances in our land.
There is no diversity among us, no jealousy,no pride,no ego .we stand by each other at all the times. We find pleasure in helping others. We feel happy that atleast we are alive to lend a hand to the needy.
But as a doctor I sometimes feel low when I see little children who should be smiling in their sleep , lying in a war camp crying. When I see a child becoming an orphan who lived with a family yesterday .
It breaks your heart when they can't even tell you what is causing them pain . The hardest part as a doctor is when you know that the patient is not going to survive this,
Till you have got to convince them without letting your emotions come in between and when you you reach your home you can cry your heart out and convince yourself that nothing is in your hands but it is the will of the almighty.
But As a human with emotions and feelings we all break down at the funeral prayer which is held almost daily for a dozen shaheeds including young children. When they are buried not only their bodies are buried ,their dreams and ambitions are also buried without giving them a chance, And That's really hard to stand. We see parents who have lost their child walk with a dead soul .
Sometimes we feel like losing all our hope but at the end of the day we are grateful to god that he has bought us safely back to our home.
Everyday we feel blessed when we wake up alive in the morning, and that's how life goes on .... everyday we hope for a better tomorrow with a hope that maybe life changes tomorrow, yeah maybe.....

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