13 . His Absence

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Hayat's pov:

yesterday was a fun filled day . It feels annoying to go to work after a day off , especially when we have taken leave without an exact reason , and have enjoyed the day to the fullest . Even in my dreams yesterday night , I had all these chocolates , cakes and balloons. They felt too real to be a dream . It's time to get away from all these fun and return to work mood .

Today I chose a maroon color kurti with a sandal color leggings and hijab.
As I reached the camp , asusual I started to do the routine check ups . I was happy to see people recovering quickly . But I was missing something today , maybe that something was mr.Rude . It's not like I'm missing him . But I can feel his absence . Maybe he went to his place coz he had only small bruises which may have been healed by now . .. " okay I shouldn't be thinking about a random stranger who was nothing , but rude to me " I was reminding myself . I've never felt like this towards a person or maybe I've never met a person like him till now  . He was different . He was the good one under the bad image type of person .
" I shouldn't be thinking about him " . I reminded myself again and again .

Hamza's pov:

I'm not planning on staying here for long , but for now I have to have a house of my own . So I was searching for a house to stay for rent . Only now I was able to find a suitable house (a kitchen with dining hall , a living room and 2 bedrooms ) with affordable rent , after a long day of search . so I happily agreed to stay there .
I was feeling guilty lately , all these years I've spent killing thousands of people from infants to old ones , without seeing any difference.
I was a beast all these years . What if I have killed Hayat by my own sinful hands in any one of those attacks I've been involved in . I was thinking selfishly . But I can't help it . Whenever I see someone getting affected or when some child is crying , I feel like I'm a part of their sorrow. I feel like I'm responsible for their state of misery . And the worst part is I know that it's partly true .

All these years , I've spent my life thinking that , what I do is courageous . But only now ,I understand that it's nothing but a major sin . I have to start repenting to my lord . There's no use worrying about it . I have to correct my actions .
With these thoughts I got out from my home .
" I have to get something for those children atleast, if not for the adults " .
I bought them some new clothes to wear and some candies . that's what I can do , I can't give them back their parents , whom I've killed mercilessly. I can't give them back their happiness. I can't give them back their lost family.

I felt disgusted on myself. I made up a fake smile and went to the camp . For the first time in 24 years , I felt like crying at the sight of the war camp. I felt like hanging myself, when I saw a little girl crying .

As I went towards them , I noticed my Hayat . She was beautiful as always , so I think , I don't need to mention that everyday .
She was busy treating a child that she never noticed me ,till I called her by her name . She turned towards my direction at an instant . She was smiling at me.
" wow , she's breathtaking " . If I have mentioned her as beautiful before , then now she must be 100 times more beautiful than that.

As she approached me , I forgot my purpose of coming to the camp.
I even forgot to blink my eye .
I forgot to breathe for a second . ......

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