Park Shin-Hye has three things underlined in her journal: maintain scholarship at art school, try not to get fired from her job, and never allow her friends to mention Kim Taehyung when she's around. They've been in love for two years and he broke u...
"Is it possible that the thing you want to throw away so badly is the same thing that makes you feel safe?"
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Chapter's song: reset-Tiger jk feat.Jinsil "Ahh" I slipped midway through my swirl . The third time in a row I hadn't manage to make the move right. It's been a week since the last time I practiced this hard but it seems like forever. I sighed in frustration attempting to stand back up when the diamond crown-shaped necklace grabs my attention. It must've fell from the hoodie I grabbed hastily on my way up. It lies there next to me on the ground. The constant reminder. I froze forgetting when was the last time I saw it. I hesitantly managed to grab it, holding it between my hands. The wind came brushing sending chills to the tip of my skin. I tucked the loose tendrils that managed to fall off my loose ponytail and sighed in a deep exhale crossing my legs.
My mum always used to say that gifts are friendly reminders of how much a person loves you and that having them brings memories back, memories that you would always look back to with a wide smile that you can't wipe off your face...If what she says is really true, then I can't help but wonder why I'm sitting here in the middle of the night with tears prickling in my eyes.
I tilted my head up facing the outstanding view of Hongdae through watery eyes. I never could get tired of admiring it. Street lights light up the whole city like a constellation and I've always been the kind of person to wish upon a star. The whole siren is extremely relaxing. I smile warily to myself memorizing the outstanding view of the city I never thought I would be living in. Every time I feel lonely I would go back, grab that necklace and hold close but then directly regret it.
And why I feel lonely in particular? That answer is what I choose to push to the deepest part of my mind.
And heart. To a place where I can no longer remember it.
Is it possible that the thing you want to throw away so badly is the same thing that makes you feel safe?
I managed to stand up pulling my hoodie over my head deciding to call it quits at least for tonight.
'I got bored of you. You're nothing. I got tired of putting up with all of it.'
I raised my hand in an attempt to throw it far away thinking that getting rid of it would make the pain go,but then,uncontrollaby, I fist my hand around it with a heavy exhale. I just can't let it go and I still don't know why. Or maybe I do, but refuse to allow myself to admit it let alone think of it.
I slipped the necklace back inside my pocket knowing that maybe one day I'll be ready to finally let it go but maybe today is not that day. I push those clouding thoughts away and go back to bed with so much emotions swirling in my chest.
Maybe the thing you want to forget and the thing that makes you feel safe are the same thing after all.
