Reconnecting With My Dad John

a date

We walked in silence for a few minutes not knowing what to say to each other. There was so much that needed to be said.

Like Why he never made the effort to see me?
Why did he have to leave us?
Why did he cheat on my mum?
Why did he act so coldly to us after the divorce?
Why did my step mum have to be yoko?
Why did he make so much effort to see kyoko but not me?
And I wanted to know if he loved me.

Tonight didn't seem to be the right night to bombard him with such heavy questions so I stuck to being silent.

"You sounded beautiful tonight"

I turned my head to look at him shocked that he had heard me

"You heard that?"

"I did and I've never heard that song sung so beautifully before"

"Wow thank you bob said I sounded amazing as well"

"What we're you doing with him?"

"I told you I just seen him and he came to say hi and we got talking and before I knew it I was onstage singing something I've never done before."

"God I hate the thought of you in the same room as him. He's got a different woman in every country"

"Don't be so dramatic dad. God you should be on Broadway 'dramatics with Lennon'."

"Hey I know the guy I'm surprised he ain't asked you out on a date that's normally his 2nd move."

"Uhm well"

"Well what?"

"Were kinda going out tomorrow night at 8"

I braced myself for the anger and the dramatics and the my life is over now my daughter is dating routine.

He began to laugh

"You are such a joker Tills and I ain't falling for it this time"

"Dad I'm being serious"

We arrived at the Dakota and made our way to the apartment

"Your so joking. I bet your expecting me to get all mad and you will get your laugh."

We arrive at the door of the apartment and John walks in ahead of me.

Then I remembered some thing from when I was a kid. When I was telling the complete truth about some thing we had a thing where we would pinky promise it.

"Dad I pinky promise you that im telling the truth I got a date with Bob tomorrow night at 8"

Dad turned around his face full of rage and I thought well at least he now believes me.

"Your 15"

"Yeah I know my age I had a party for my 15th it was lame hardly anybody turned up to my party. That party symbolised how unpopular I am"

"Stop changing the subject"

"I ain't you said your 15 so I told you about the day I turned 15 so I'm on the subject. You were the one who changed the subject from bob to being 15"

" stop being a smartarse"

" Well I dunno how to be a stupidarse"

"Tilly Julia Lennon be serious for a while will ya"

"I'll try John Winston Lennon"

"You're not going on a date with him Tilly I refuse"

"Well you don't really have a say on if I go or not"

"Your my daughter so I have a strong say"

" this is your first day of being a dad so your input and say on my life is limited"

"I've been your dad your whole life. What are you talking about my first day"

"You haven't been a dad to me at all. You've never been there for me. Even when you were with mum you weren't there. So no you haven't been a dad"

"I was stuck in the craziness of the beatles. I couldn't be there 24/7 I had a career"

"You also had a child who missed out on her daddy."

"I'm sorry you feel that way but I was working so you could have a great home and a great life"

"A great life huh is that why you walked out on me and my mum huh. A great life is that why we were both sad for the longest time over you"

John rubbed his temples of his head with his hands obviously feeling stressed

Yoko walked into the room obviously she had heard the whole conversation

"I think you should go to bed" she said coldly towards me while sitting down next to dad making it clear it was a them against me situation.

"Well the boss has spoken I better run along to bed now like a good little girl"

I walked outta the room and towards there spare room which they had set up for my arrival

I can't believe that i haven't been here long and I've already fought with my dad. We have so many unresolved issues that we will never become super close until there sorted out but how can I tell him how I feel and unleash my emotions on him when yoko is always on hand to take his side and turn it into a them against me situation. It should be a me and dad against yoko situation as I'm his daughter his only blood daughter and he should have my back but he doesn't. Yoko always gets what she wants and that's me outta the picture and to have me replaced with her own daughter kyoko. One thing yoko doesn't yet know about me is that I'm even more stubborn and hard headed than my dad and she will never win.