Reconnecting With My Dad John

bad decisions

I spent the day in my room only leaving occassionaly to grab some food. I felt upset not at the words he used but at the meaning behind what he said. He never said he would choose yoko over me but he implied it. Why this upset me I'm not sure as I knew he didn't care a whole lot about me.

Yesterday when I arrived and we had a meal I felt comfortable and we connected and I felt like maybe he did care about me. Yesterday has given me hope that yes I'm like my dad and that we can get along and bond and have fun together but then all that hope gets pulled away from me.

This pattern always happens. We get close then yoko shows up and he pulls away again. It is like she is dangling my dad in front of me. She just let's me get to know him enough that when she pulls him away again that it hurts that little bit more.

I want to have a relationship with my dad and I've always tried. I used to call him every week and most weeks he wouldn't even answer the phone. When he did answer the phone the conversation was  always interrupted by yoko doing everything to grab his attention away from me.

I went and had a shower and decided to get myself ready as I Tilly Julia Lennon have a date with Bob Dylan. I can't believe those words even left my lips me a girl from Liverpool and London  having a date with my idol bob dylan. I know my dad has forbid me to go but after today's events I don't really care about his opinion. The way I see this situation I'm a teenage girl who's parent free in America it's exciting and abit  scary.

I ran outta my room with my jammies on and my hair soaking wet dripping all over the floor and i ran to the phone. I seen a little book with phone numbers written in it and I flicked threw it until I seen Carltons name with his number beside it.

John walked out from his room and seen Tilly at the phone and wondered what she was doing. He feared that she was going to ring Cyn to tell her about the horrible job he was doing. She was only  here 1 day and he has screwed up already.

*johns pov*

I really have screwed up with Tilly. I've been a horrible dad. I thought having her with me would help our relationship and it was working. Yesterday was one of the best days we have had together. We bonded and we had fun and I enjoyed her company. I looked at her and she is so much like me it's scary. If only Tilly and yoko could get along then life would be perfect but I know that's to much to ask. I know yoko is hard to understand and Tilly sees her as the woman who stole her mother's place but it's not like that. If they could spend time together I know they will get along. Maybe tonight I can get them to spend time together and get to know each other.

"Hey Carlton it's Tilly. Can you collect me tonight at around 6? You can that's great thank you"

I hung up the phone and smiled tonight was gonna be insane.

"Why do you need Carlton to pick you up"

"Because I'm going out remember?"

"Tilly I already told you that your not going to meet bob"

" and I already told you that I am"

"I was wanting tonight to be a night just you and me and yoko"

"Why? She will probably have some scheme to keep us apart"

Yoko walked into the living room completely ignoring that I was even there.

"John we need to try later on tonight to try for a baby again"

John looked at me his face kinda looking defeated. While I just smiled.

"Well I was wanting us 3 to spend some time together"