Reconnecting With My Dad John

the never ending pain..

I slowly opened my eyes and everything was blurry. I was confused. What had happened? Why am I in so much pain? And where was I?.

I was so cold and felt a breeze blowing threw my hair which sent a shiver down my spine as I was so cold. I could feel my body shivering and I could feel a intense pain in my stomach. I looked around and I seen that I was in the bushes but how did I get here?.

The last thing I remember is being in Tony's apartment and him leaving me alone and in pain. What happened when I blacked out? How did I end up here?.

I had no energy I couldn't even lift my head of the grass I was so weak. Is this how my life is going to end? With me completely alone.

I was so so desperate for someone to notice me but it was so quiet the only sound was the wind blowing threw the trees and the birds chirping happily. It was a beautiful sound and it was a lovely distraction from the pain I was feeling. Am I going to die and nobody even know? Are my family going to live there lives just thinking I'm missing. There going to spend there time looking for me not knowing that I'll be dead. What if they don't look for me? What if nobody even notices I'm gone?. I just want my mum I want her to hold me and tell me everything will be ok. You never really think much about death. I always presumed I would die a old lady in her own bed with her husband who I always dreamed would be bob dylan beside me. I never thought I'd die alone in New York without a husband and without her family.

The pain is so intense I tried to move but I couldn't I didn't have the energy. I was screaming for help and the only thing that heard my cried for help were the birds who flew away.

I'm so tired and I can't keep my eyes open. I can't keep the darkness away.. is this it? Is this the moment I leave this earth. Someone please help me.

John's pov

This pain is overwhelming. I have never felt pain like this. When my mum died I thought that would be the worst pain that I would have to face but seeing your own daughter be shot is a million times worse. I don't know what to do. The police are out searching for tilly and for tony but everything is just going so slowly and theres nothing I can do to help. All I can see is the fear in Tillys face and the sound of her screaming for me to help her and I can't do nothing.

This isn't fair she is a innocent child she has never done anything wrong and she gets shot because I'm her dad. When she was growing up I was always jealous of how close she was to Paul. I didn't like it at all I seen there relationship and how close they were and it made me angry. Paul has always been great with kids he's a natural. He knows how to talk with them and how to play with them and I have always struggled.

Being around children doesn't come natural to me even when I was in the beatles when kids would run up I always froze. Well Paul was great with tilly and I was jealous and I said to tilly how I bet she wishes she got paul as a dad instead of me and she said no that she loves me but right now in this second I wish she was Paul's then she would be safe from harm and safe from people hurting her just to hurt me.

All I can see is her beautiful face which is the perfect mixture of me and cyn. I love her more than anything in this world. I didn't realise until now how much I loved her. I would swap places with her in a heartbeat. Just knowing she was hurting and alone made me feel this hatred for tony I truly hated him.

I felt this anger filling me. A anger I had with me when I was a teenager. I used to always be mad i was mad at the world and everyone in it. Mad that my life was always so complicated. Mad that no one loved me. Mad that life always gave me the rough end of the stick. When I met yoko I changed I quit being mad over life and decided to just accept my life the way it is. When I was with cynthia I was a madly jealous person and she deserved better but she loved me faults and all and look how I treated her. I think when I met yoko I was looking for a change I was tired of being angry i was tired of being me and she offered me a chance to be someone else to be a better person. This anger is consuming me and if I was in the same room as tony right now. I think I would kill him.

Something came over me and I went into the bathroom and I trashed it. I was smashing the mirrors and throwing everything that wasnt bolted down while screaming. This is it the moment john Lennon finally went mad.

"JOHN STOP IT" yoko screamed

"John this isn't helping anybody"

"Its helping me yoko"

"JOHN PLEASE YOUR SCARING ME"

I looked at her and she was terrified and I broke down in tears.

"I just want her to be safe and he shot her because of me"

Yoko went and held her husband close to her trying to make him feel calmer.

" she got shot because Tony is crazy. He is unstable and he does what he wants. The only person to blame is Tony."

There was a knock on the door and John ran to answer it praying that it was Tilly behind the door instead it was 2 police officers.

"Come in. Have you found her?"

"Mr lennon we found Tony's apartment and he was there and we arrested him"

"Oh thank God how's tilly is she at the hospital?"

"When we were in his apartment we seen alot of blood and we searched the whole apartment complex but tilly was no where to be found"

"What do you mean she was nowhere to be found?  We know she was with him"

"Yes we know she was there the video and the blood prove that but tony has taken her somewhere and he is refusing to cooperate. So we have police out looking for her"

"This is a nightmare. She has been shot and was bleeding a lot and she is missing. She could be somewhere alone and dying and he isn't telling where he put her. Let me in a cell with him for 5 minutes and I will get all the details out of him"

"I'm sorry we can't do that"

"But you can keep him safe and let my daughter die alone"

"We are working hard to find her"

John put his head into his hands as he struggled to take in the information.

How will john cope?
Where is Tilly?
And will she survive?