Reconnecting With My Dad John

Yokos secret

I knew that i should of told my dad about the man being at the door and that i should of shown him the letter i received but i just couldnt do it. They are so happy and are basking in there happy news and dad is obviously nervous. They have been in there own wee bubble together and are just so loved up and happy that i cant just go and pop it and make dad sad again. I am terrified and i have withdrawn even more than i thought i could but i just cant be around them and there happiness when my life is like a ball of wool which is rapidly unwinding. I feel like i havent got a place in this world where i will be safe and i have no one i can open up to as i only have dad.

Im laying in my bed just staring at the large tree that is outside my window gently move in the wind and i was focusing on a leaf that was turning brown and was bound to fall of the branch when the next gust of wind blows. I was thinking about the letter and i let out a sigh and the way i feel right in this second is that i wouldnt care if the stranger killed me because then i would be rid of this fear.

I hear a knock on the door and i near fell off my bed with shock and i was surprised when i seen Yoko hover in the doorway.

"Hello Yoko are you ok? are you needing anything?"

Dad was away at the studio to put some final touches to a few songs that he has recently recorded so i felt like i was in charge of making sure that Yoko was ok."

" no i dont need anything but thank you. I have actually came to ask you something."

The way Yoko was talking to me made me feel like something not good was going to happen. When your around Yoko for a while you begin to notice how she feels by her mannerisms and sometimes you feel yourself taking on her mannerisms which is so strange.

" What is it you want to ask?."

" Well i was wondering how long you are planning to be here?."

I looked up at Yoko shocked. Her face has that blank expression on it that never shows how she is really feeling it sometimes feel like im talking to some sort of machine like a robot.

" What do you mean Yoko?."

" I mean how long do you plan to be here in this apartment? and in America for?"

She cannot be serious. She must be wanting me to leave which shocks me to my core as i thought that since Yoko found out i helped Kyoko that we were getting along so much better. I honestly thought that she liked me.

" I am so confused. i don't plan to leave either here or America. I dont know any place but here. You and dad are all i have."

" Well that isnt true. You have your mother in Britain and you have family all over there."

What is she implying? how can she think that i would leave dad to go to a strange country to be with strange people.

" I dont know any of them Yoko. My family is here."

" well dont you think it would be nice for you to get to know them again and build up new memories of your life over there. Im sure your mother misses you very much."

" I cant go Yoko. I cant leave my dad hes all i have."

I feel myself start to get hysterical the thought of being miles away from dad is almost more than i can bear.

" well John wont admit it because he wont want to hurt you but John thinks it would be a good idea for you to go."

I honestly felt that if you listen very closly you can hear the sound of my heart breaking and i looked at Yoko for a sign she was not being serious or a sign of some emotion but as per usual her face was blank. I began to wonder if Yoko was capable of genuine emotion or infact if she was capable of any emotion at all. This seemed truly heartless.

" I dont believe you. Dad loves having me here as he tells me all the time."

" Has he told you that lately?."

" well no but he has told me it before"

" The fact that he hasnt told you it lately shows you that im telling you the truth"

" No the truth is your wanting me gone and not dad?"

" dont be so silly.  Its just that with everything that has happened and with the baby coming and me having to avoid all stress. We thought it would help for you to go back home for a while."

" but this is my home."

" no it isnt its mine and Johns. "

I seen the look on Yokos face and i seen the iron determination etched on her face and i knew the decision was already made and my heart dropped. I knew i couldnt argue with her as she was right it was there home and if she wants me gone then what am i meant to do about it.

" When do yous want me to go?."

" next week"

" That soon but your not due your baby for months yet."

" this is a high risk pregnancy and i cant risk any stress."

" fine then whatever you want" i say defeated

" oh and another thing please make it look like it was your idea to John."

" but i thought he wanted me gone as well so why would i need to lie?."

" You know John he gets so guilty when he tells people things that arent so positive and i dont want him feeling bad about the decision we both made together."

This did not sound legit to me. I had a idea that Yoko was lying threw her teeth and that the truth was she just wanted me gone but i had no fight left in me and i just could not be bothered to fight Yoko. If yoko wanted me to leave then so be it but im not lying to my dad.

" no im not lying to him. There is a line and i wont cross it. Dad has been so good to me and i wont repay him by lying to his face and if he wants me gone then me telling him about this conversation wont be a surprise for him."

" wouldnt it be a shame if that man came back to finish what Tony started."

Her question threw my head into a spin. How did she know that man was here? and she said what was written in the letter to me which i hadnt shown a soul.

" It was you wasnt it? You were the one who wrote that letter and you were the one who sent that man to the door."

I could not believe this was happening Yoko was more dangerious than i thought.