One and Only

Chapter 12

I get ready for college . I couldn't sleep last night , not after what Liam did. I am going to try to avoid him today as their suspension ends . I lay down besides Granny.

" I'm scared " I whisper and tears run down my face. I know she doesn't hear me but there's no one else I can speak to . She wiggles her fingers so I put my hands in hers. " I'm so scared Granny.. I want to forget it all , I want to go far away from here. If it wasn't for you , I would've killed myself" I say and for once I'm glad that she doesn't hear me. I kiss her on the cheek and run to my room. I wear Xavier's t-shirt and wear a hoodie on top of it.

I don't want to go to school but I have missed so many days so I force myself. I keep saying in my mind that everything will be okay but I'm still terrified. I wasn't ever sexually assaulted by them but now I am not too sure . I sigh and hang my head low so no one recognises me. I quickly walk towards my locker , get the things I need and hastily go to my lecture. The day goes by quickly , tomorrow is the submission of our project and I keep praying that Liam won't mess this up.

In break , I look around in the hopes of finding Eli. I haven't seen her for awhile and I was sort-of happy with her. When I don't spot her anywhere ,I give up and sit in the library. In the next lecture , Eli doesn't show up . We both have literature and I was expecting to see her here but I don't find her in her seat.

I somehow feel annoyed that Eli didn't come to school. She doesn't seem the type to not show up . I feel a bit creepy to obsess over a girl who spoke to me like once. I remove her from my mind when I realise how stupid and irrational my thoughts are. As I walk through the corridors ready to sprint home , my eyes suddenly get hazy. I blink and everything blurs. My head spins and I rub my eyes to keep myself awake. I take the support of the wall and start walking fast , making sure my hair covers my face. When my eyesight gets clear , I quickly look around to make sure no one saw me and surely everyone are busy in their own thing.

I haven't eaten for awhile and that's having a toll on me. When I was at Xavier's , I got a call from the manager of the cafe who fired me for not showing up for work and not giving any prior notice. I couldn't blame them for firing me but it still sucked. I was earning through it and had enough money to feed myself but now I'm back to where I started.

I have no money and nothing to eat. Xavier told me that he could get me a job or atleast lend me some money but I didn't want that. He had already done so much and I didn't want to be a burden . I ignore the headache and focus on getting out of school without attracting Liam's or his friends attention. I feel goosebumps rise on my arms when I remember it. I was totally helpless that day , crying and begging him to let me go and yet he hadn't. I could still hear his words in my mind.

I increase my pace and walk out of the gate feeling myself get calmer . I wrap the cardigan tighter around myself and start walking towards my house. As I reach , my gaze goes towards Liam's house and I get surprised when I see his bike parked outside. That's when I realise that I didn't see him at school  because he didn't go. He isn't the type to miss school though. I think of all the reasons he wouldn't attend school.

That's when it strikes me , it's 3rd june 2019, his dad's death anniversary. His death was my fault , he died because of me and it feels rude if I don't visit his grave or atleast talk to his mom. I go to my room and watch his house for a few minutes , waiting for him to come out so I can go and talk to his mom. 30 minutes pass by and yet he doesn't come out so I quickly grab a jacket and start walking towards his grave. I pass a garden and see some tress there , I quickly steal some flowers off of them .

I sit on his grave and keep the flowers in a side , there are already a lot of flowers there . I tell him how sorry I am , that I wish I wouldn't have gone back inside and if it was possible I would exchange my life for his. When I see some people walk by I get up and start walking back home. I take a long route and when I reach it's almost 7:30 pm. I don't see Liam's bike outside so I quickly go and knock on the door.

I hear a few shuffles and the door opens to show Liam's mom. Her eyes are red and when she sees me her face breaks into a huge smile. I smile back and step inside when she asks me to. I sit on the sofa which looks too expensive for my ass. She brings cookies and cakes and sits across me on the loveseat.

" I know why you're here and I know you blame yourself for his death but it's not your fault ." She says directly catching me off guard.

" You know that's not true , if I hadn't gone back inside things would have been different. "

" He..he had problems . I haven't told you everything , I don't know why . Maybe because I didn't want them to be true but that's not fair. I was going to tell you this but I couldn't . I think you have the right to know and I'm sorry for not telling you this before" She says wiping  under her eyes .

" Wh..what? I don't understand"

" His death wasn't an accident . He did that to himself"
...

If you see William anywhere please comment and let me know .

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