september |a.i|

Breaking

(edited 8/3/15: first off, what is the title of this chapter)

It felt like my world was crashing down. My brother. My only living relative in New York, has cancer? This wasn't happening. The nurse kept talking about treatments, but all I could do was stare at the paleness and sunken eyes of Roman. I never really noticed him like this, but thinking about it, I can remember many times when he didn't look right.

"Stupid!" I shouted at myself, banging my head against my fist.

(edited 8/3/15: damn ellena u okey der)

---

After signing some papers, saying that yes Roman could spend the night for further research, and for the first time in a long time, I was walking home alone. I reached my apartment complex; City Towers, in less than 5 minutes. I didn't stop at the ice cream parlor that me and Ro-

no, dont think about him.

Sighing, my knees popped as I made my way up the staircase. I meet Ms. Irwin in the hallway.

"Hiya, El. Ashton's in there, just to let you know." At that moment, I did not give a single damn if the curly headed weirdo was "in there" or not. A large sound of thunder clapped, and we both jumped.

"Well, I should be going. Want to get most of it done before the storm." She strides off down the hallway, and I speed-walk towards my room. But sadly, the world has decided to hate me, Ashton steps out and smiles.

"Hi Ellena, how are you-"

"Fuck off Ashton." I growled turning so my back was facing him. I hated snapping at him, -I'm not like that- but I was irritated, and his naturally kind attitude was getting on my nerves.

"What's wrong?" Before I can slam the door in his big eyed face, he sneaks in and looks around.

"What? It's the exact same as where you are staying at." I mutter, slamming the keys on the counter, sighing, and running my hand through my hair.

"Hey, where's Ro-"

"Shut up!" I say, and he shrinks back in fear, "don't say his name! He's probably gonna die, so let's just forget about him." Ashton's face shows recognition seconds before I realize what the hell just came out of my mouth.

"What." Is all Ashton can either say or get out before I burst into tears.

Large, loud, and body-racking sobs course through my body, as I fall to my knees, and Ashton is immediately by my side.

"El..." and in that moment, I have never loved my nickname more than when he said it. Wait what. My mind resurfaces and I think about what I just thought.

I don't know, so for now I just sob out my pain and let Ashton hold me; while out there, in the real big world, a giant thunderstorm happens, and from afar, Ashton and I look like tiny figurines in a snowglobe. And for once in my life, I'm okay with being the smaller person.

(edited 8/3/15: and this ladies and gentlemen, is a mood swing, ellena im so sorry)

---

I must've fallen asleep or something because I wake up on my bed, and Ashton's arm is wrapped around my waist, him sleeping next to me. I instantly check and praise the lord Jesus we're both fully clothed. I watch the raindrops trickled down the window, and check the clock. 4:50 pm. A note lays by my clock, and its from Ms. Irwin;

Hi there,

Walked in on you two sleeping so I woke Ash up so he could take you two to bed. Some meatloaf is in the microwave. Warm up for 30 minutes. Sleep tight!

I smile at her kindness, and sigh, somewhat snuggling into the weird amount of warmth Ashton gave. I mean the boy was like a freakin' heater. He shifts, and a sigh comes out of his mouth; I've woken him up. Damn.

"Where- oh hello Ellena." He smiles at me, sleeply, as if the fact that we've INNOCENTLY slept in the same bed together doesn't faze him. I smile at him.

"There's some meatloaf in the fridge. You wanna stay for dinner?" I ask him, sitting up and stretching, him mimicking me within seconds.

"Nah, gotta get back. See ya soon, Ellena."

"Goodbye, Ashton." He walks out of my room as I say this, but pops his head around the corner.

"Don't, ever say goodbye, Ellena. Because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting."

"Did you just quote Peter Pan on me?" He smiles a sad smile, a look of nostalgia overcoming his eyes.

"Yes, but after while, it seems true." He leaves me with my head spinning, and my conscience wanting to know more about the mystery of Ashton Irwin.

a.n> this book is so fuckin' cliche rn and I apologize, but it'll get good, I hope. Woot. Alright, I'm rambling goodbye stay fab. Cash money peace. ~ rollwin 

(edited 8/3/15: tbh if i put notes where i wanted to itd be after every word. i really have no idea wtf happened in this chapter and the name of it is "breaking" like wtf u just slept with ashton irwin and u title it "breaking" i dont even. ellena if ur reading this, i apologize, i dont even know anymore)