Assassin's Creed | What If's

No Bath no weapons in return (Assassins and Templars x Reader)

It's the Friday of May 31, and June is coming, talk about back to school but I'm in college I won't go back 'till it's July, anyway, I got a lot of situation going on right now. Knowing that some of your favorite characters are quite hard-headed when it comes to ask to take a bath, unlike Desmond he knows the problem. 

The others, not so much, Evie rather did the persuasion for Jacob to take a bath. And since they don't know about taking a shower nor I have a bathtub, Ezio can take a bath at least, Connor most likely he wanted to wait for the rain but I said no, it will take a while to wait. Arno same as Ezio, Edward and Shay... Wish there's a nearby sea but no, Haytham he can take a shower, he just needed a guide. Altair, we all know he's afraid of water and I still don't know what's the reason.

Aside from the glitch that the developers made, and the heat in the Philippines is also unbearable, good thing I only told Evie, Desmond, Haytham and Connor to take off their thick clothes and explained why. The others are confused and started to sweat so fast, gladly others figured it out and took off on their own. "Why didn't you tell us, it's this hot (Y/N), Dio Mio" Ezio complained taking off his whole gear and only left is his shirt and pants, same thing to Edward, Arno, Jacob and Shay.

Altair he takes off his whole robe except he still wearing his pants on. I'm shocked at his robes " So, my theory is true! It's not separated at all" I said in awe " What theory?" Altair asked "its about your robes, I usually think what if it's whole or separate, but I think it's separated" I added. He explained about it and I nodded and writing it down, as a geek yes, I have to. Do note, I feel envy of Altair's body built, why can't my boyfriend have that. The boys started to think it's a competition since Altair just show his bare body, I'm not blushing or anything I just feel envious. Until Ezio, Jacob, Arno, Shay and Edward just take their shirts off, I look around and my face 'what the hell is going on?'.

I'm also surprised and got envy again even they have well-built body structure, I pout and sat on the couch while playing Miikun. Desmond notices me how I react to the guys "You seem kind of Jealous or something" Said Desmond "Well, I have to be honest I am jealous, thank you for asking" I pouted and kept playing Miikun. They all got confused "which one are you jealous of ?" Connor asked "Your body built, of course" I said laying Miikun down somewhere with Chewie "How come you're jealous on their bodies when they're...guys but not girls"  Desmond asked. Well, come to think of it, I never felt jealous towards any girl's body because it kind of felt same way as me, some have issues of their bodies too, but why would I feel envy towards a girl's body when they can just show off to the public and I'm like 'meh' don't care as long as they're happy with their body and so do I but I don't show off, I just love wearing hoodie all the time and sporty shorts at home then again some of my friends back then, always ask me "How come you're still thin and yet you keep eating?" I shrugged "I don't know, maybe a habit or metabolism". Now, back to Desmond question why did I feel envy towards a guy's body? I told him "Well, little didn't you know I have a boyfriend, geek like me, Gamer like me and sometimes a shy type attitude and lovable .Though, I'm not fond of features like those other girls " Oh he's cute, oh he's handsome, oh he's muscular---" Shut up!" I exclaimed while imitating the girls who are usually like that. Desmond laughs at my imitations then let's me continue "Reason why I feel envy with the guy's body is that, I'm still having a hard time to get my boyfriend into shape but for me, I have very big appetite, like I eat a lot--" as I explained further, Edward cut me off "You have a big appetite? Then how come you're thin?" He asked.

All of them questions my body too, so as Desmond. "Hey, I do some workout every morning, mind you." I said

"And, that's why you eat a lot cause you just made your boyfriend---fat?" Desmond asked. I nodded "Not too fat I mean, belly problem, though I did remind him to workout as well, at least he did" I said. Desmond understands the situation, and Ezio however, is curious about how I imitate the girls today "May I ask, bella, why did you pretend or imitate those girls, are you not fond of getting girl gossips around?"

"The girls today, they aren't as decent as back then. In your own language, Ezio they're Puttana. Harpies." 

"How come?"

"Don't ask why, when I explain this to you. Remember, when you talk to your sister, Claudia. When she said about Duccio, saying that he's been unfaithful, and she was told by the girls? Yes, those kind of girls still exists today." I explained

Ezio did not expect me that I mentioned his sister,  I explained it to him and remembers that Duccio is a one of hell womanizer. And I pointed him, Arno, and Edward "You three, have to look out, I know you three are handsome, yes I can be honest with that but if you're not careful then things will go down" I added.

Some of them started to look upset, except Connor and Jacob, both of them didn't know what's happening. They all still remember when they were young until they're old. The death of Elise, Cristina, Ziio, Lucy, Hope, Maria and Caroline.

I felt bad, even Desmond saw it coming, some of them didn't speak "I know, and I'm sorry about what I said, but at least all of you are faithful to your own love ones" I said smile lightly. They nodded, and I realized were getting off topic. "Speaking of body, are you supposed to take a bath?" I reminded, all turned their heads away and I have an evil grin on my face, Desmond don't like the way I smile.

What I did, I confiscated their robes, weapons and their hidden blades, and closed the door of my room. Some of them saw what I did and argued, "What, none of you wanted to take a bath" I sassed "You can't just take our stuff and take somewhere, where did you take them?" Jacob groaned . "I don't know" I shrug and pretend to be dumb, "It's not funny, take our stuff back!" Arno exclaimed. I ignore their complaints and my mother instincts kicks in, if they don't want to take a bath then suit themselves because no Bath, no weapons in return. "Whose authority taking our weapons away?" asked Shay "Me, and who's in charge in this house?" I asked.

None of them replied knowing I'm the host of this household and Desmond, Evie and Haytham saw it coming and three of them laugh. Connor coughed just to hold of his laugh, I snapped like a sassy lady in front of them "That's what you get". I asked Desmond, Connor, Evie and Haytham to take them to a bath, for Altair, I guess I'll be the one to handle him, he's more hard-headed than the rest.

/2 hours later/

I change into my red hoodie and black shorts and my hair got wet but it's already drying, good thing the others did took a bath, and Altair. Haytham sauntered towards me and asked "What happened to you?" He said. "Well, let's say its a one hell of a cleaning" I rolled my eyes facing the other way. "Which is?" Both Desmond and Evie asked "I'm still wondering why Altair doesn't like water, if not I will technically drown him" Their eyes widen and looked at me as if I'm crazy. "I'm kidding, gosh." I said in sarcasm. Few of them face palmed and roll their eyes. I laugh at myself joining Desmond, Evie and Haytham with me. For once, I just started a good family laugh here. As the laugh died down, I felt a small tapping on my feet turns out its Miikun "Oh, what is it Miikun?" I asked. He's holding something and gives it to me, I grabbed the video games that says Odyssey and Origins, I grinned widely.