The Backwards Cinderella (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 29: Fly away with me

I'M SO SORRY

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME MORE

I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.

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"Louis please wait." He snapped his head round to see me. Any fast and he would have broken his neck...thats what I want to happen to me right now.

"Wait for what? For you to lie to me again? Thanks, but I think I'll pass.'

"I didn't lie to you." He stopped and turned to me, this was the first time I saw how much he was crying. His stained face was no Picasso masterpiece, more like a scream from Van Gogh when his ear was no longer attached.

"Well you didn't exactly tell me the truth either." He roared in response.

"You didn't ask." I knew as soon as I said it that that was not the right thing to say, he seemed to realise it too.

"Oh so it's my fault for not asking, w-what about you with your not telling?" I shouldn't laugh but he sounds like a 5 year old.

"I-I was going to tell you." I mumbled but he still heard me.

"When Princess, when were you going to tell me?" There it was, that name and a title I didn't want.

"Don't call me that!" I bite at him, and he doesn't even seem suprised.

"What would you like me to call you, your highness, your majesty?"

"No! Just call me Will, or even Button." He laughed at me and folded his arms.

"And why would I do that?"

Yeah Will, why would he do that?

I-I don't know but I'm not going to give in that easily.

"Because that's all I am. I'm just me. I'm still that girl who had a whole conversation with you with a saucepan on her head." I expected him to laugh but he didn't. Note to self; don't tell jokes.

"No you're not, you're a princess that I...fell...in love with." I watched as he covered his face in his hand and grumbled something I couldn't understand. "You knew how I felt about you, and yet you still didn't tell me. Why wouldn't you tell me, did you just think that you were bored and so playing with a peasants emotions would be fun?" He thought I didn't care, he truely believed I didn't. What's the point in telling him now? If I say anything he'll think I'm lying because that's what people like me do, except it's not people like me, it's people like them.

"I would never do that..."

"Well you just did and might I say the experiment was very sucessful." He began to walk away from me and I didn't chase after him either.

"No I don't think it was Louis, because I lost my best friend in the process." He'd stopped by now and had squeezed his eyes shut.

"That's I'll ever be to you isn't it?"

"No Louis, that's all I'll ever be to you."

"What do you mean? I told you how I felt about yo-"

"No, no you didn't" I said gently. "You said you loved the princess, not me." It was the truth, that no-one wanted to hear and even less people wanted to say because it meant opening up. Right now, I was to scared to stop. "How could I tell you I loved you back when I knew how you felt about someone else? I could never be that girl you wanted, the girl you deserved. The way you talk about the princess was something alien to me, I was never going to be the girl you imagined. You fell for someone, who wasn't me. How-how could I tell you my feelings, when I knew how you felt about another girl?"

"You're right, I did fall for the princess," Not exactly what I wanted to hear. "But I also fell for you. I was so confused as to why I fell so hard for 2 people at the same time. I tried to chose but I couldn't. In the end I remembered one thing." Well then say it man. "I remembered how I felt when I first saw you in the kitchen, my heart skipped a beat and I found it hard to breathe, even if it didn't show." H-he liked me from the beginning? All this time. All the struggles and confusion and heartaches I'd had for him, it was all pointless. He liked me...but that's past tense.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Honestly, Louis is so loud I'm surprised I haven't heard him screaming private stuff from the roof top and scaring pigeons in antartica; though that'll never happen, everybody knows birds fly south for winter.

"I guess, I thought you wouldn't like me back." He blushed and I laughed slightly. So when I imagined telling Louis I loved him, it was nothing like this...but this is better. No strings, too many complications.

Hold up, Louis didn't think I would like him back...is he just a little bit past bonkers and driffting into completely insane, who in their right mind wouldn't like this boy? He looks like a god for Christ's sake...not exactly the best sentence. I don't know why people compare fit boys to gods, when I think of gods I think of beards and robes that are too breezy.

"How could you not think I wouldn't like you back? I'm not exactly the Queen of subtilty Louis, all of your friends saw. Once they confronted me about it, I thought you'd know for sure." I took a step forward to him, this time he doesn't step back.

"I guess we're both pretty blind, but I'm way more gulible than you, you pulled the wool over my eyes for a long time." He looked down at the floor, angry at himself.

My mind had was running circles around my head. I tried to imagine what this looked like, from a bystanders point of view. I'm here, watching our friendship burn to the ground. Somethings changed in him, in both of us...I-I can't let this be the end of it all, I'm not leaving him. I'm going to fight for him, for us. Most importantly, I'm not going to hurt him, not now or ever. I'm not going to hurt him.

"Please don't beat yourself up Louis, this is my fault not yours. I understand if you're angry at me."

"I'm not angry at you, honest. I'm angry at myself for believing you, I convince myself that I don't trust easy but this is why I shouldn't trust, I get hurt and I hurt others as well." I started crying more, he was blaming himself for something I did. I hurt him. I stepped closer to him and grabbed his head to look right at me.

"No, Louis this isn't your fault. You're amazing, I don't want to watch you blame your yourself like this. It was my fault, I should have been honest with you but I just couldn't. I was scared, I know it's no excuse, but I was so scared. Scared of losing you, losing myself, losing everything. I was scared that if you knew then you would never want to speak to me again, but I was scared that you'd love me too and want me to be that girl you always wanted. I was scared you'd love me, because being love is the scariest thing in the world. You and I know that being in love, means opening up. I've had to stay closed forever, so to have you trying to break through was something I wasn't ready for. Playing Button was the best time of my life, I didn't have to rememeber anything except you. I beg of you, please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you, I'm sorry." I looked into his eyes to prove I was sorry, I didn't know how to make it any clearer. I wiped a tear away from his cheek and he took my hands and dropped them to our sides. Then he let go and walked further away.

"What do you want me to say? Really, I have no idea."

"I want you to say that we're okay; say we can start over." I plead, dying just to hug him because he was crying. It was my fault, I broke him. He paused and dropped his head.

"I...I can't do that, I can't un-fall in love with you, I can't pretend this conversation or any conversations we ever had didn't happen...I-I want you to stay away from me, so we can forget each other." He stared me in the eyes in pain then turned away again. "Goodbye Button. Sorry, I mean Princess." Then he left, without even a glimpse of regret. I couldn't fight for him, if I didn't want to hurt him. He didn't want me to fight.

Peter Pan always said to never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. That's why I never wanted to say goodbye but forgetting, that's exactly what Louis wanted to do.

"Bye Louis." Never say goodbye, I never want to forget.

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One more chapter left!!!!!