Finest Jin

Lost and Found

The screech of tires.

Screaming crunch of metal.

My own voice rasping painfully.

Policemen yelling.

Wails of sirens.

My daughter shouting at me.

"Eomma! Eomma, stop! They won't let you through!" I stopped to catch my breath and saw Cher, her wide eyes frightened as they tried to reach me through my panic. My chest expanded slowly, painfully replenishing the air expelled in wasted screams. Cher was tangled in my arms, fighting to pull me away, wrestling me from the scene of my horror. "Jimin, call for help!" 

"I did." His voice was gentle but decisive. "Let's get her back into the building." A police officer was waving us back angrily as the first ambulance shut the doors with a click. Jimin was tugging on my arms as the vehicle pulled away. 

"Wait! Jin! WAIT!" I was trying to go forward, terrified to let the vehicle carrying Jin to escape my sight. Jimin got more forceful, locking an arm around my waist and forcefully dragging me back as the officer shouted "Get her out of here!"

"Yes, sir!" He grunted, Cher helping pull me towards the building.

The big revolving doors spun and Jungkook and Taehyung came through them, immediately joining in the struggle. I thrashed at first, pushing away the sea of arms before surrendering and letting them remove me to the lobby. My eyes were glued to the flashing lights that were fading into the distance. 

Once in the lobby, the boys stopped to regroup. 

"Namjoon will know what to do." Jimin stated. Tae went to lead me but I swung my arms out of his reach. 

With a sigh, Jungkook heaved me up over his shoulder and I gave up all resistance. In the elevator, he sat me back on my feet, holding me against him tenderly. When the doors opened to the top floor, he scooped me up bridal style and ushered us all to the dorm. Suga opened the door for us and followed us all down the hall, through the kitchen and into the living room. Kookie set me down on the couch and called for RM. Hoseok walked in, carrying a cup of tea. He set it down beside me and took the spot next to me on the couch. Tae was on the other side. 

I was staring at the wall, oblivious to the luxurious surroundings around us. 

Jin was gone. 

That was the only thought that was rolling through my brain. A constant loop of indefinite pain. 

I had traveled this road once before. This time was supposed to be different. 

Jin was supposed to be here forever. 

How would I function without him?

How would BTS function without him?

Jungkook, Jimin and RM were in conversation at the front of the room. Suga eavesdropped, then began searching something on his cell. 

Chers' hand rubbed gently up and down on my knee. 

I could hear my own blood rushing past my ears. The room was beginning to spin.

"Telly-Ah...Noona..." Hoseoks' voice was gravelly in my ear. He was squeezing my hand. A strange, disconnected sensation in my rising catatonic state. "Namjoon, I don't know what to do."

Namjoons' face floated up in front of me. His strong grip shook my shoulder.

"Noona...Noona! Look at me." I swung my eyes to his, but they took a moment to focus. In the steadying of his gaze, I remembered to breathe. I sucked in a long, grating breath, slowing the room and evening the tilt of the earth. "We don't know how bad he is hurt. He may be just fine. Yoongi is on the phone to management now. They will find out very quickly. Until then, we just wait and pray."