Irondad and Spiderson // One Shots

Avengers Group Chat + other stuff

I'm back Cucumbers. There's an update at the end.

We're the Avengers baby

Tony has added Peter to the chat.

Thor: who is this Peter

Peter: I'm spiderman Mr. Thor

Tony: he's my kid

Tony: dammit Peter! Can you not keep your identity a secret from anyone?

Thor: MAN OF SPIDERS!!!!!

Peter: that's me

Thor: I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION!!!!!

Peter: what is it?

Thor: DO YOU LIKE POP TARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Peter: yes

Thor: I like him

Carol is on vacation with her kids, so her best friend Marie is taking over for a bit:
(*´罒'*)

Steve: Why is there a teenager sitting on the couch.

Steve: Is he an intruder? Do I need to take him out?

Tony: bitch I hope the FUCK you do. Put one of your crusty ass fingers on my kid I mother fucking dare you @$$h0\€

Steve: language

Peter: thanks dad 😭❤😤👊

( っ'-')╮ =͟͟͞͞🏀 this is Trey and he has a basketball game tomorrow, he's a point guard and has shoe game

Peter: dad can you come get me

Peter: fuck wrong chat

Natasha: what's wrong

Peter: it's nothing just got in a small fight

Natasha: that gave you two broke ribs and a black eye?

Peter: how do you know that?

Natasha: no one messes with my spider baby without me knowing

Peter: did you hurt Flash?

Natasha: he might have a slight broken wrist and nose

(っ'-')╮=͟͟͞͞💌  this is John, he is in love with Carol but he's scared to tell her

Tony: has anyone seen Peter?

Steve: no

Bruce: no

Natasha: no

Clint: no

Scott: no

Loki: no

Thor: brother what do you mean? You took him just a few minutes ago to Asgard

(O_O) he likes to say "ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this."

~Who Is He?~

(This one is so bad and I hate it but oh well.)

"I'm Rebecca Johnson and the story we have today will knock your socks off."

"Spider-Man's identity has been questioned ever since he's came to New York."

Tony griped the side of the couch. If they found out his kids identity Peter's life would be ruined.

"Well, we have live footage of Spider-Man's right now."

"I'm Lindsay Micheal and here we have Spider-Man battling against an unknown villain."

Tony watched as Peter was laying unconscious as a weird alien-like thing crawled towards him.

He wasted no time.

"The alien is about to take off the mask! His identity will finally be revealed."

The alien used two bony fingers and started to peal the mask up until he got blasted back.

"Now it looks like Iron-Man has joined the fight! It looks like he's saying something, Shawn give us the audio!"

"Hey, Spidey. Get up, I knocked the thing out but we need to get it out of the streets." Spider-Man remained unconscious.

Iron-Man looked at the creature before Tony Stark stepped out of the suit and kneeled beside Spider-Man.

"Mr. Stark?" Spider-Man's voice was strained and rough.

"Yeah, it's me."

"I think- I think it tried to take my mask off."

Tony shook his head, pulling the mask down. "He only got to your nose."

The audio cut off as Spider-Man got up and Tony Stark went back into his suit.

"Well, it looks like Spider-Man's identity will remain a secret everyone. This is Lindsay Michael, signing off."

~Make Up Your Bed~

"Peter, you have an incoming call from Tony Stark."

"Mr. Parker, answer and put it in speaker. I'm tired of this lie."

"But-"

Peter signed in defeat, "Karen, answer."

"You're grounded," was the first words that came out of the phone.

"For what?" Peter's voice became sassy.

"We've had a talk about making your bed up in the morning."

Kids didn't fully believe that it was Tony Stark on the phone, but they were interested in the conversation.

"You called me while I was in class, just to tell me that?"

"Yes, I do my best in an audience. Also, I found some security footage of you and Wade that we'll have to talk-"

"Karen, end call!"

Sorry the last one was bad. Like really bad.

Here's a little update on my life:

I'm staying with my Maw Maw at the moment, I'm at my mom's at the moment but I'll be with my Maw Maw on weekdays.

I'm currently not talking to my dad, I'm ignoring his calls and texts so he went to my Maw Maw.

She just told him to leave and not come back until he can become a man and learn that it's my life and not his.

So that's that.

It's summer now, so I'll probably be posting more often.

See you Cucumbers later!

🥒 "oH mEh GoD, iTs A sAlTy CuCuMbEr"