Irondad and Spiderson // One Shots

Language+YouTube

Hi, I have another fever and am once again delusional.

"Holy mother frick frack chicken pack patty wack smick smack lick wack sticky stack fucking shit!" Peter yelled, rolling on the floor due to his stubbed toe.

From there he heard it. It was a whisper in the wind, a silent tell from beyond.

"Language," Steve whispered as he backed away into the darkness of the elevator

(_³_) (flip your phone, also his name is Kevin)

Peter was in the subway heading to school when he someone bumped into him, causing him to almost drop his phone.

"Jesus McFadden crip crap crop top skipitty scap." Peter whispered, gripping onto his phone.

Peter looked around the subway train to see a man looking at him from behind his newspaper.

"Language," he said, staring into Peter's brown eyes with his blue ones.

(・ε・)ﾑｰ🔪(@・0・@）  Carl! That kills people!

Peter was sitting in class beside Ned, talking quietly.

"Dude! Captain America saying 'Language' to me would make me have a stroke." Ned whisper yelled.

"Dude it's horrible, I bet if I cussed right now he would text me language."

"You have his phone number!"

"Ned shut up!"

"Peter, cuss." Ned had a glint in his eye that Peter knew would not go away until he did as his best friend asked.

Peter sighed. "Fucking shit."

"For quantum physics- OH MY GOD!" Mrs. Lamke was interrupted by a blur dashing into her room towards a student.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT PETER?!" Steve Rogers was shaking Peter Parker by his shoulders as he screamed.

"LANGUAGE! LANGUAGE! LANGUAGE!"

Let's just say, Peter Parker made sure he hasn't spoken a bad language word since then.

🥒🥒🥒

The camera started on and Peter began his story time.

"Okay so, I was walking to the store and this random ass dude was following me. I got scared and started to run, he chased me."

Peter took a deep breath and looked straight at the camera.

"It was my dad's bodyguard."

Scoooooplit: lmao I'm done 😂😂😂

Lopehdn: wait, who's your dad?

Lopejdh: ha lmao shook triggered fire

The camera turned on, showing a very distressed Peter.

"My dad found out I had a girlfriend and I'm not okay." Peter held up his phone to show some messages.

oop.father: so you have a girlfriend?

oop.son: no

oop.father: her name is MJ and I'm sitting beside her telling her about that time you fell down the stairs when you saw Thor.

Peter lowered his phone.

"They have formed a team. A  t e a m."

PPoshhe: sucks to be u

Jspjak: sksksksk ha

Lopejdh: ha lmao shook triggered fire dead

The camera turned on to show Peter sitting in a chair.

"So a lot of you asked who my dad is, so here you go."

" who is your dad?" Peter smiled.

"DAAAAAAD!" Peter screamed bloody murder, father is needed so this is a dire situation that calls for screaming.

Then Tony Stark came running in. "Peter!" Tony looked at the camera and sat down.

"Why hello, people of YouTube."

Hsujs: Tony Stark has a son??

Gshoa:  I mean if you look closely at all of his videos you can see Thor showing off his hammer and muscles in the background.

Lopejdh: ha lmao shook triggered fire dead  lol

🥒🥒🥒

More coming later because I just wanna.

🥒 "oH mEh GoD, iTs A sAlTy CuCuMbEr"