Boy With Luv (Kim Namjoon X Readers)

Chapter 30

After dinner, the boys practically pushed you and Namjoon out to the balcony. One reason was to give you two space to talk and the second part is they didn't think they could handle seeing the two of you acting all lovey-dovey in front of them. You two sat on the white chairs plastic chairs, a table in between. You picture Namjoon and Jimin sitting out here, conversing over a beer, about life. The stars twinkled shyly, one waited for the other to joined, and together they performed a ballad with clouds as dancers and the moon as the spotlight

"Are you cold?" Namjoon asked.

"Just a little bit, but I'm okay." you answered. Even with your long coat, you felt shivers running down your spine. Namjoon went inside, leaving you alone and confused for a second. He returned soon afterwards with a blanket and draped it over you. "Are you cold?" you asked.

"No, I'm alright." he answered, you could see the white air coming out of his mouth.

"C'mon, this is big enough for the two of us." you suggested. He tilted his head, biting his lip out of reservation but then moved his chair over to be right next to you. You wrapped the blanket over his slightly trembling body. Your shoulders were touching, the material of the coats rubbing against each other.

"Y/N,"

"Yes?" you hummed. The air made your eyelids heavy and his body heat only made you more comfortable.

"Why don't you come back to the company?" he asked faintly. There were only the two of you out there. The rest of the city was back inside in the warmth, eyes shut probably. But not the boys, they were doing karaoke.

You blinked,"What?"

"I know it's selfish of me but you should come back to the company. We could use your skills for the upcoming album." His voice was unwavering.

"Namjoon," you said, looking right at him. "I appreciate the offer but I don't have a lot of things to offer right now." Subconsciously, your eyes wandered to your hand. It was hidden beneath the blanket but the feeling of it was strong, and it tingled at the mention.

"That's not true. The cello wasn't the thing that defined you or what made Bang P.D hired you. You're really good at producing and eliciting emotions through the music." he argued. There was a strong sense of conviction in his voice that made you believe it yourself. "And if it weren't for me and your parents, you would have stayed. So it only makes sense. I'm sorry again." he added.

"Stop apologizing. But I'm scared people won't accept me." you said. "When news came out with my parents taking my house, there were so many rumors and speculations. I'm scared that it'll hurt the company and you."

"Fuck what peope think." Namjoon said casually. When you looked at him, he only shrugged. "People will have negative things to say no matter how successful someone gets. I remember when we just debuted, I've read countless comments about how we won't make it. And even now with our Billboard award, people still discount our hard work. But what's important is that we know our worth and we know we have done so much for music and ourselves. Y/N, you've inspired many musicians with your pieces and you will continue to do that, I believe in you. You only need your approval."

It made you smile bitterly, the thought of him reading those comments and enduring it by himself while encouraging the boys. He's such a strong leader, the world doesn't deserve Kim Namjoon sometimes. You have thought about it before, going back to the company and doing what you love while being surrounded by people you love. It was the perfect combination but something was holding you back. "Thank you for saying that. I should give myself some credit." you chuckled.

"There's something else, isn't there?" he asked, again, he saw through you like clear river water. As leader, he has to pay attention to the little details and habits when something's wrong. Though that's only for his members. With you, paying attention to little movements came like second nature to him.

"Yeah." you answered.

"Are you worried about us?" he spoke through the silence. When you didn't answer right away, he knew. "What are you worried about?"

"Everything." you said honestly. "Logistically a relationship would hurt your career and I don't want anything bad to happen to you or the boys. Then it might be hard for us to stay together because of the traveling and hectic schedule. And if my parents find out, they might hurt you the way they hurt me and I'm terrified to think about you being harmed in any way."

He nodded slowly, he could feel his throat getting dried as the tears formed. He remembered the image of you lying bloody on the ground and how his heart was ripped out. "What about personal reasons?"

"I'm scared that you've built up this image of me that you want to be with and this me right here right now isn't it. Maybe you like the idea of being with me but it'll be disappointing in the end. I don't want that. I don't want you to fall out of love with me or be with me out of obligations from everything that happened. But then again, there is no us so I might just be overthinking everything-"

It happened this time, and without Seokjin there to interrupt. The city buzzed with electricity and cars honking. But out on the patio of his dorm, you could only feel his lips on yours and your heart wanting to burst. His hands cupped your cheeks and leaned himself further into you. You hand hung in the air out of shock but then lowered onto his back where you grabbed his coat, unknowingly pulling him closer.

His lips were incredibly soft and he was being so gentle, not wanting to hurt you. His lips moved slowly but there's a hunger behind them. One of his hands moved to the back of your neck as he deepened the kiss, making you melt on the inside. It was a moment he had been waiting for since a long time ago and it was everything he dreamt of and more. He was the first one to pull back, your body was numb and his heartbeat was anything but steady. He caressed your cheek benevolently as he leaned his forehead on yours.

"There is an us and I love you."