Boy With Luv (Kim Namjoon X Readers)

Chapter 32

Waking up became something you relish doing now. The sun was in agreement, its rays seeping through the window and waking you up. Your body rose and got ready for the day. Adora waited like she always does in the kitchen with breakfast. The two of you took turns cooking, it just turned out that way. But soon, you'll get everything back. More on that later.

It was kind of a childhood dream to go to work with your best friend. She drove you every morning and sometimes at night, when Namjoon had rehearsals or staying later at the studio. When you got to your studio, you got straight to work. You started working on some beats for songs from the new album, it would be a continuation from the last album, Her. This one would be darker and the turning point of a toxic relationship. For some reason, you were good with sad songs.

After signing your contract, they sat down with you, the boys and the rest of the team, to explain the whole storyline that BigHit has been planning since the 1700s apparently. It took a while for you to process everything and sometimes you couldn't look at the boys the same way, they're always hiding something. Though it's hard for Namjoon to hide things from you. Anytime he had a present or a secret, his foot would tap uncontrollably and his dimples would fight his mouth muscles to hide. Going on dates for you guys consisted of making a mess in the kitchen late at night and going to parks when the rest of the world was asleep. It wasn't much but it was everything you've ever wanted.

Hoseok sent over a beat for a Latin inspired song and he wanted you to work on so that occupied you for most of the time. You could already picture the music video, a lot of dancing in the rain. Of course, that would happen because they already began planning out the video and Namjoon invited you to the shoot. Being his girlfriend comes with a lot of privilege. But there were also some drawbacks.

After the company made the announcement, reactions began pouring in like lava, erratic blazing lava. There was a lot of confusion because there hadn't been any news of you two being connected in any way before the announcement so both your fans were suspicious. BigHit then released a second statement saying how you had worked as a producer on the side and credited you on their songs which calmed the fire a little bit but not by much.

ARMY were upset that one of their beloved idols is officially off the market and while they wish him happiness, they were still resentful. For the first few days, your Twitter and Instagram were filled with comments of discontent. You were quite used to the foul language and bitterness from your parents but it was hard to imagine the hate because their idol is in a loving relationship. Your fans weren't any better. They had wanted you to marry Jinyoung instead so you could keep playing. The blamed Namjoon for what happened to you even though you had explained it multiple times.

The silver lining is that there will always be supporters. You both had the boys, the staff, Bang P.D, and the true fans. A lot of them had already defended the relationship, saying how idol belongs solely to the fans. They are their own person and deserves their own happiness. Namjoon and you had already agreed to not let negative comments affect the relationship and so far, things have been great. Aside from sometimes not seeing each other for weeks because he was traveling so much. You made do with his absence, by exercising your fingers since the bandage was off completely. The cello would be harder, so you started again with the violin.

A knock on the door disrupted you from your thoughts. His smile was the first thing you saw when the door opened. He wore a red beanie and long tan coat. It looked like he just came from outside. "We just came back from a shoot," he explained before you could ask.

"You should rest." you scolded. He shrugged and made his way to the couch, dropping his body on it and turned his head towards you.

"I wanted to see you," he hummed. It made you giggled but then frowned because his voice indicated how exhausted he was.

"Sleep here then," you suggest. "I still have a lot to do." You glanced quickly at the monitor to see the audio file. It never ceased to amaze you how the boys were able to produce songs so quickly and with such qualities. That weight will never leave Namjoon's shoulders.

"Alright." he sighed. His eyes closed and his chest rose and sank with a rhythm. You turned back to the monitor and worked. The air was silent, except for the soft keyboard sounds. This was usual, him coming and doing nothing together but you absolutely adored it because he was here and you knew he loves your presence as much as you did his. "Hey Y/N?" Namjoon said quietly after a while.

"Yes?"

"I think I want to change my name."

Your shoulders popped up and so did your head. "Your name? Namjoon?"

"No, Rapmon." he answered. "I want to change it to something else."

"Why?"

He chuckled softly. "I've always disliked that name. I came up with it when I thought that was who I really am, an angry kid. I used it as a mask and a direction for my music and lyrics. At some point, I stopped being angry and saw the beauty of the world. I don't want that mask anymore."

"Do you have any ideas for a new name then?"

"Yeah, RM." he said quietly. "I think it's fitting, a shorter version of Rapmon and the meaning could be ambiguous."

"RM...I like it." you offered. His mouth curled upward.

"You should like it, you came up with it."

"What?"

"A long time ago you said something about staying true to the real me. So RM is 'real me'. I haven't stopped thinking about it since then."

"So why did you decide to change it now?" you asked, leaning your head to the side and waited for his answer. His eyes fluttered open and he lifted his hand, beckoning you to come to the couch. You obliged and sank your body right next to his. His chin on top of your head as he rubbed your back gently.

"Because I think I can truly be the real me now, with you by my side. When I pushed you away, I found myself putting that mask on again. I was angry at everything. Now that I have you back, I just feel lighter, like I can do anything. And the one thing I've always wanted to do was to look at myself and accept me for who I am. "

"Do you love yourself, Namjoon?"

"Yes, I love me because I love you." he answered. "I love you, my Y/N. Thank you for being you."

"I love you too, Joonie." His hand slowly dropped on your back and his rhythmic breathing returned. You didn't need to look up to know that he had fallen asleep. You pressed your head closer to his chest and allowed your arms to wrap around his torso. A giddy smile crawled onto your face and you couldn't imagine being anywhere else but in his arms.