Thunder In the Rain ~ Kane Brown Love Story Sequel

Suitcases

*Sawyer's POV*

My shoulder's slumped as the elevator doors closed and my tears came, sobs racking my whole body. He proposed... He proposed! And I said no! I was kicking myself for my stupid answer. Everyone had been staring at us. I wanted so badly to say yes but I couldn't. I couldn't spend the rest of my life like I had been. I couldn't say yes to Kane and plaster on the smiles and pose for the cameras. I didn't have it in me to carry on with my modeling career that had been ruining me. I wasn't fit for New York.

As the elevator doors opened, I wiped my tear stained cheeks, ducking my head as I rushed through the lobby and the crowd of cameras outside. I climbed into the back of the nearest taxi parked on the curb and told the driver where to drop me off. I looked through the rear window, trying to glance up at the retreating rooftop restaurant, half expecting to see Kane looking down but I was relieved that he wasn't.

I flung the door open as I entered the apartment, slamming it alerted Emmeryse of my presence. She raced down the stairs from the upstairs portion of the apartment to find me holding her borrowed heels in one hand and mascara and eyeliner smudged slightly from wiping away the tears. Her smile faded and her decent stopped as she looked at me.

"Sawyer? What happened?" Emmeryse's face held deep concern.

"Kane proposed..." Sobs racked me again as a fresh wave of tears strung up. "And I said no..."

Emmeryse looked at the door, "Where is he?"

"I don't know. I ran off. I really don't know." I cried.

I dropped her heels and ran to the guest room, grabbing my suitcases from the closet. I called for a driver to be ready to pick me up in thirty minutes. I began grabbing my things from Kane and my shared bathroom and room. Emmeryse still hadn't moved when I came back out, grabbing my phone charger from the kitchen and placing her belt on the counter. I only took my necessities, wanting to leave this horrible lie of a life I had been living behind me.

"Sawyer, what are you doing?" Emmeryse asked, gripping the railing, looking pale, "You can't just be leaving. Shouldn't you two talk this out?"

As if on cue, one of the double doors to the apartment opened and Kane walked in. His cheeks were tear stained and his nose was tinged red. He let the door close as his eyes fell on me, swallowing hard. My heart broke knowing I had done this to him. I was being so selfish but now I had hurt him.

"Why did you say no?" He asked, clearly holding back

I shook my head and looked down, tears started brimming my eyes. All he could do was stare at me. The tension in the room was growing but I couldn't find my voice.

"Did you cheat or somethin'?" Kane cleared his throat.

"Do you not love me anymore? Is that it?" He sounded angry now.

"Kane!" Emmeryse yelled

"Stay out of this Em!" Kane yelled back, "Why are you crying? You're the one who said 'no'! What aren't you telling me?!" Kane's voice raised louder, demanding answers out of confusion and frustration.

As Kane's voice grew louder, a sob slipped from my lips. I coward back as he demanded answers that I had been keeping from him. Emmeryse continued to yell at Kane to stop and tried telling him that he needed to calm down. I had never seen him like this before.

"Stop hiding it! I know something is going on!" Kane yelled.

"Sawyer! Tell him! Please!" Emmeryse crouched on the stairs, covering her mouth as she realized her mistake.

Kane's brow creased, "Tell me what?" his voice was low, "Sawyer. I want an answer!" He raised

"I wanna marry you!" I yelled, and he looked confused.

"So why'd you say no?" Kane raised his voice again

"Because I hate it here! I hate modeling! I loved it at first but they've forced so many changes on me that I can't even keep up! I've lost so much of myself an' I hate it!" I sobbed

"This!" I grabbed at my dyed blonde hair, "And this!"  I motioned to my dress. "This isn't me! This is what they've turned me into an' I hate it, Kane! An' you never stepped in! You were fine with my manager demanding I change. An' I've had to shoulder it all on my own while you were on tour."

He took a step back, "Sawyer..."

"An' I'm no help to you for your panic attacks because I can't even deal with my own! I broke down and hurt my ankle tryin' to run from a panic attack! I can't handle living a lie anymore! I'm exhausted an' frustrated an' I feel trapped!" I cried

Kane's face was washed over in shock as I finished. I felt myself hyperventilating as I walked into our shared room, bringing out my suitcase and bag. Everything looked blurry and my chest felt tight. I saw the corners of the pamphlets from the hospital poking out. I ripped them from under the mattress and took them out to the living space with me. Kane hadn't moved, other than looking at Emmeryse for answers. I left the papers on the counter as I headed for the door.

I turned one last time and looked at Kane. His suit jacket was undone and his tie was untied, hanging around his neck and shoulders. This wasn't how I wanted him to remember me or for me to have this as my last memory of me. But I stepped into the hall and closed the door behind me.

*Kane's POV*

I felt like kickin' myself. My own panic attacks had started from being overwhelmed, and I'd never considered that happening to Sawyer. When my attacks had started, I had only had to worry about myself. But Sawyer's has started when she was in the middle of a busy and demanding career and while taking care of me and my attacks. She was tryin' to shoulder her world and mine, and I hadn't thought about her.

Suddenly all her past symptoms seemed to fall in line. I had been skipping meals to keep up, she had been skipping meals to keep up. I had had issues sleeping, she stayed up late to help me fall asleep while she couldn't sleep. I had tried keeping it bottled up, she had bottled it up more than I could've ever handled.

As she stood at the door, I wanted to call out to her and beg her to stay. I wanted to go back and kick myself for being selfish. Tears brimmed her eyes. She looked like a mess with her black dress unstyled and out of place with her books. Her hair was tangled slightly from pulling on it, and her eyes had smudges of makeup under them. 

My heart ached as I felt stupid for ever accusing her of cheating or not loving me. It hurt worse as I recalled yelling at her demanding to know why she was crying when she had been the one to say no. In the past five minutes, I had caused more damage than I ever thought I could. 

The door closed behind her.

"You're not going after her?!" Emmeryse yelled, "Go get her! Please! Run after her! Tell her how much you love her! What's wrong with you?!"

"I hurt her." I said

"Well no duh! It doesn't take Sherlock to know that one! What are you waiting for?!" Emmeryse yelled

"Please...." She grabbed my jacket, resting her head against my chest as she cried. "Please go get her..."

I will, but, first, I have a lot of mistakes to fix and problems to work out.

I just hoped Sawyer would forgive me for losing it on her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know it's another heartbreaking chapter, but bear with me! I have a plan and it's all falling into line for these characters. Please comment and vote. Thank you for reading!