'Cause Nothing Lasts Forever ✔️

Chapter 37 - A new start

Blaire's POV

“Wake up, wake up, it's a brand new day...,” My alarm went on ringing. It literally buzzed my head. I cracked my eyes open and turned the face avoiding the bright sun rays. I tried to figure out where I was and then it hit me hard that I was still laying on the floor of my room. I walked up to my phone and discarded the alarm. Scenes and people from the last night were still fresh and raw in my memory.

I have to wash everything off, rather everyone off.

Many people get deceived every day and I am just one of them.

I have to accept this and move on.

It's life, here nobody waits for anyone and time won't stop for me and my messed up life. It won't wait to fix my love life. Even my alarm says it's a brand new day and I'll try to make it really a brand new one, trying my best to move on from whatever happened.

I walked over to the bathroom and stood in front of the sink. I splashed water on my face and looked intently in the mirror. It was like I was facing a different me. There was a hollowness in my face. A feeling of emptiness lingered in my eyes and I can read it clearly. In these three months a lot of things happened, a lot of things changed and it felt like I came a long way. My life has changed in several ways. My surrounding, lifestyle, friend circle and a lot of other things.

It's hard. It's hard when you have come a long way with someone and then suddenly you have to return, all alone.

Bracing myself with courage, I decided to take a hot shower and wash off everything. Not a single touch of his fingertips should remain on my skin, but the most tragic part is I couldn't just erase off the memories. 

It would always be captured in my past. No matter how hard we try to move on from our past, it never stops chasing us, and that was the only thing I was afraid of right at that moment.

Maybe this little part of my past will never stop chasing me.

At last, I got prepared for the shoot. Whatever may have happened in my life, my work shouldn't be affected by it. Someone's career may be dependent on those photoshoots as well. Not revealing to the world what you are exactly feeling deep down, is what you call maturity. I climbed down the stairs and came face to face with Christian. That was the very last person whom I wanted to see before I left. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said with a smile.

“Mom,” I shouted.

“What the hell is this person doing here?” I yelled, burning in rage.

While I waited for answers, I noticed their surprised and weird looks. They were out of clue about everything that was happening. I avoided making any eye contact because deep inside I knew those eyes will always tempt me and you simply can't resist the charm it carries. I avoided his presence and stepped out of the room.

“Sunshine,” he called and grabbed my wrist.

“Let me go,” I literally yelled.

“Hey, what's wrong?” He asked with a worried face.

“Calm down, princess. What's wrong?” my father's cool voice came from another direction.

“Do you think I'm a fool? You'll always just fool around and I'll never get you? You think so, right? Then, Mr Cheater Woods, I'm very glad to inform you that you're very much wrong,” I said with a stern voice.

“Let me go now,” I continued and set my hand free from his grip.

“But, sunshine...”

“And yeah don't call me sunshine. Make it a note,” I cut him off. 

“Blaire...”

“I don't want to see him here again,” I said in an ordering tone to my parents.

Ignoring everything, I went ahead directly to the parking and drove to the shoot location. During the whole time, Zach went on asking what's wrong with me.

I mean what's your problem dude?

Why do you have to be no nosey in someone else's life?

And to be honest I think the whole school knows it by now and you're asking me what's wrong?

The day was so damn irritating. By the time I went back, it was already three in the afternoon. Madison had a match that day but I decided to go against it to avoid certain persons.

I laid down on my bed, trying to find some real peace, some pleasure but not with much success. Even hot chocolate failed to lift up to my mood that day. With no options left, I opened my bag and slipped out the antidepressants and anxiety pills that I bought on my way back. With much doubt held, I gulped down an antidepressant and called some sleep for myself. I woke up after hours by the loud thumping at the door. I crawled down the bed and opened the door, smiling faces of Mom and dad.

"What are you doing alone, all day?" Mom asked, looking around my messy room.

Mom cleared some space and placed the cola and the popcorn. Making some space for herself on the bed, she relaxed.

"Netflix time, " Dad added at last.

"Uh, did we plan it?"

"Of course, not!" She rolled her eyes.

"Actually, we thought we didn't spend quality time for a long time now, so we decided to have some quality family time," mom cheered.

I smiled at them.

Why do I even need antidepressants when I have got such parents here?

I know they came to check up on me and lighten up my mood, but the thing is my mood doesn't need a lift up, my heart does. I grabbed the cola and powered on my laptop as all of us settled ourselves on the bed. We watched Netflix and our train of gossip went on continuously for four long hours. Like, how we used to beat dad all the time in monopoly and how he became allergic to dogs after our neighbour's dog bit him. It wasn't until dinner time that we all went downstairs. When I came back into my room, I saw Christian already there.

"Christian, "I called out as I locked the room.

"I have something important to say, "I declared.

"The game is over Christian. We are over. I realized you were not gonna bring this up anytime soon, so I am taking the initiative from my side. Enough of your act, enough of your fooling around. There is no us anymore. We are strangers, not even friends. I hope I'm clear, " I say clear and loud.

“What? Why? Have you gone out of your mind? Why are you doing this to me? Please don't do this to me, please Blaire, I have got enough shit to deal with right now. My life's going messed again and you are just making it messier. We have been together since our birth and after all these years we have again come across each other and now you want to leave again? You just left my hand when I needed you the most. I can't even figure out what's happening right now in my life and if it's happening then why the hell it's happening? It's too much to take at once, just hold on Jimmy and explain what's going on?” Christian asked his voice pleading and held a lot of pain.

"No Christian, I have just got my mind fixed in the right place and I don't feel the need to explain myself," I looked directly into his eyes, “we are over,” I declared.

He stood there wrapped in silence. After a moment, he knelt down on the floor and bent his head down, staring hard into the floor. I turned around and lay down on my bed. I pulled the covers and turned the lights off. There was a feeling of suffocation sustaining. My throat clogged with some unknown pain and tears rolled down my cheeks. I may have gathered courage and confidence to say whatever I have said, I succeeded in pulling on the stony attitude but deep down it's eating me up. Only I could experience the pain my heart was going through. I didn't realise when he left.