'Cause Nothing Lasts Forever ✔️

Chapter 38 - Escaping the reality

Blaire's POV

Doing any job without letting your emotions interfere and affect it is tough, tougher than anything else. Just fourteen days more, I reminded myself. The morning was stretchy and so was the afternoon. I pulled my phone out of my jeans pockets and scrolled through my feed. With all the rumours and everything going around in the air, I didn't want to create any more mess and leave any shit behind. I walked into the cafeteria and ordered chicken sandwiches. I didn't even have an appetite.

This is a common human tendency, you see. We humans have this common tendency of running away from everything. At times we don't want to face problems in our life, and even some people, we just try to escape. What we do is ignore and run and escape from the situation for as long as we can. 

As I scrolled through my Instagram, I came across a video of a couple kissing each other. For a moment, it just dragged my mind that to that night, the memories replayed at the back of my mind....... 

......His warm breath beating against my skin, heart throbbing and that velvet touch... 

I shook my head, shaking off all that was blocking my mind.

“Bloody bullshit,” I cursed Instagram and took a bite of my sandwich.

I was almost done when someone sat in the chair across mine. I looked up from my novel and his eyes met mine.

“What are you doing here?” I shoved the book into my bag and got up.

“Blaire,” he started to say.

“Blaire, I need to talk.”

I strode across him and paced forward. He followed my steps, grabbed my arm and turned me around.

“What the fuck is going on Blaire?” He burst out.

“I'm just running ahead and behind you, asking what the fuck has happened? What the fuck has happened! And you? You don't even fucking care to explain the fucking reasons to me! This is absolute bullshit!” He shouted.

“Fuck off, Christian. Just fuck off, all right? And yeah I don't,” I snapped back at him.

The whole cafeteria was silent, even not a single whisper of the breeze could be heard. They witnessed it all.

“You bored with the cheerleader, handsome? Leave blondie too, we are here,” some girl said from the cafeteria.

“Shut the fuck up, you bitch,” Christian snapped back and stormed out of the dinning.

I ran out of the cafeteria and took the stairs. I didn't know what I was doing and where I was exactly going then, I just know that I need some peace, some mental peace, immediately.

I entered the dance room and threw myself on the matted floor. I couldn't keep anything trapped within me anymore. I let everything go away along with my tears. After a moment, I turned on the music and swayed my body to its flow. It's almost after six months that I was dancing, but the mental peace and relief that dance brought me, that's everything.

It makes me escape, escape everything. Even reality.

I don't know exactly for how long I was there but it was already dusk when I left school. It was just a matter of time before I reached home. To my heed, there was a bunch of roses and a letter on my bed. I picked them up and took a long breath, inhaling the fragrance of the roses. I poured down a glass of water and put the bunch in it adding time to their lives. Then, I took my time, freshened up and after changing into my pyjamas, I unfolded the letter.

"Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason. I never knew that even October could seem like spring and clouds were colourful. I wish you could be me for just one day then maybe just maybe you could see what I see when I look at you, maybe then you'll realise that I love you more than words will ever be able to describe better yet they haven't even made words to describe what you mean to me.

When I see you, I see my best friend, I see the girl who loves me and continues to love me when I couldn't love myself. I see my whole universe, I see the reason for my smile and happiness. Trust me, I don't remember falling in love with you. I just remember holding your hand and then squeeze my eyes shut with pain as I realised how much it would hurt when I have to let it go. Because I knew that girls like you weren't written on my destiny. The more I went closer, the more my fear grew and now it's becoming true. You're leaving my hand.

But don't. Please don't, 'cause if you leave my hand suddenly there will be a power cut in my whole universe. It will turn dark and gloomy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever I did, which I still don't know clearly. Can't you give me another chance? Just a single chance more? Life gives everyone a second chance. Won't you give me? I don't want to lose my Jimmy.

This is insane because people who love each other never give up on themselves, their partners. They love and stand by each other even when the world goes the other side. Please just give me one more chance. I love you from the bottom of my heart and the core of my being. Sorry again, if I didn't write it well or made any mistakes, grant my apology for I have never written a letter to someone special so far. I treasure you more than anything rather anyone else in this world, sunshine. 

I love you and will do forever, always.

- Your Jamie."

When I completed reading it, my eyes overflowed. My heart pounded screaming, give him another chance but I wasn't ready. I couldn't accept still now that he was with someone else, where I thought he changed.

How could I just give him another chance?

Just make another pathway so that he could break my heart all over again?

Sometimes, there's no second chance, there's no undo, all you have to do is move on, move forward. That's the only road open ahead of you.

“Please do not allow Jamie to come in, the next time he visits,” I yelled from upstairs.