Consumed: Always & Forever | Shawn Mendes |

31

I never thought I would ever be that woman.
The one who's heart was shattered by the man that she loves so deeply and unconditionally. Let alone be the type of woman who hits her husband and shouts, "I want a divorce!"

Divorce?

That word makes my heart hurt and my body shiver.

Is this truly where it has left me?
Left us?

We have a babygirl, our sunlight, our joy the apple of our eyes.

But yet here I am wiping away all these tears looking down at our creation that we made out of love as she sleeps so peacefully in her daddy's side of the bed.

Her beautiful chocolate brown hair pulled back by two small ponytails, her long lashes on display as her little pouty lips are tightly closed. She holds on to her favorite giraffe stuffy that Shawn got her at the zoo, so she can always have "Daddy with her."
And I laughed because I along with his fans always referred to him as a giraffe because he's so damn tall and his neck is long lol.

I laughed at the memory of him grabbing it instantly and his face lighting up when he held it in front of his face towards me. "Can we?" He asked moving a little so I can see his beautiful eyes lighting up and his smile on full display. I remember laughing and saying, "She has enough of those things." But he waved me off when Analyn started babbling at him and reaching for it. I knew I had lost that conversation instantly. Watching them together always made my heart full and I swear I always caught myself finding something new about him to fall in love with again and again.

As I wipe the tears that scrolled down my cheek, I get off the bed and I place her monitor on the opposite side of her and I walk to the bathroom closing the door half way.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and I looked tired.

My eyes sunken in, hair inna messy bun, my baggy grey shirt and my biker shorts. I look like I haven't ate in months, my skin was not happy neither was I.

I took my phone out, unlocking it and going into my contacts. I began to bite on my nails, as I sat on the edge of the huge claw tub.

Placing the phone to my ear I started feeling my heart beating quickly and my nerves began to feel so unraveled. The ringing made my heart race every single time I heard it.

"Yvette— everything okay with Analyn?"

His voice instantly hitting my chest and making me loose air.

"She alright. She's napping." I spoke so quietly.

My knee began to bounce involuntary now and my nail biting went into overdrive.

We both stood silent, only sounds of our breathing.

"How are you babe— Yvette? Sorry." He finally asked his voice shaky.

"I'm— I'm okay." I lied as I stood up and paced back and forth. Nerves kicking in on high gear.

"That's, that's good. I'm glad." He spoke quickly.

"Yea." I said as I looked at the ground and I wiggled my sock cover feet out of nerves.

"So do you want me to take Ana this week? My parents miss her. Both of you actually."

I walked to the door and peaked on Ana, who was sound asleep before I turned to the mirror of the bathroom.

"If you want too Shawn."

"What's wrong Yvette?"

I began to bite the inside of my cheek, already feeling the tears about to come out in waves.