In Between (SC, #4)

Kabanata 38

Kabanata 38

Clean

"Ate parang ang laki-laki ng problema mo? E, pupunta ka lang naman kina lola Magdalene!" saway ni Jere. He crossed his little arms with nose scrunching. Masama niya 'kong tinignan habang patuloy pa rin ako sa paglalakad sa tapat ng salamin. Sometimes or just seconds ago, I will stop and gaze myself in the mirror with a heavy deep sigh. "Sabi 'ko pa naman pupunta ka na agad. Binigyan pa naman niya 'ko ng chocolate tas nandito ka pa rin."

"Dapat hindi ka kasi umoo. Busy ako," irap 'ko sa kanya. Actually, I already finished fixing myself. I combed my hair and changed into a decent clothes. Kanina'y nakapantulog pa 'ko dahil dinadama 'ko ang weekend na 'to. Pero itong kapatid 'kong sobrang galing nabigyan lang ng chocolate, nakalimutan na ang pagiging kapatid sa akin. Hindi man niya 'ko kinonsulta kung okay lang sa akin.

I am actually scared for this unknown meeting. Hindi 'ko alam kung anong gusto ni lola Magdalene na pag-usapan. She likes surprises but I don't like the indefinite. There are different scenarios running inside my head. Minsan mas gusto 'ko pang maiyak sa case study, programs, or reviews kaysa ganito. It is making me panic and anxious. Kahit ilang beses na 'kong bumuntong hininga ay wala pa ring nangyayari.

"Naku, arte-arte mo!" Jere tightly crossed his little arms. Mas lalong bumusangot ngunit nginunguya na ang chocolate. "Pumunta ka na lang doon. Baka makita mo pa si kuya Jace! Gusto mo naman 'yon, e."

I whipped my head to his direction and glowered hard. Inirapan lamang ako ng kapatid 'ko. "Sabihan kita kay Papa na boyfriend mo na si kuya Jace!" And he sticks his tongue out and then, focuses on the television.

"Hindi 'ko boyfriend 'yon!" balik 'kong mabilis. "Magsumbong ka, hindi naman totoo." As an adult, I stick my tongue out too. Hindi na 'ko binigyang tingin ni Jeremiah at dinama na lamang ang pagkain ng chocolate. "Napaka-tsismoso mo talaga! Ipapahamak mo pa 'ko!"

"Hay naku, si Aubrey talaga mali sinabi sa akin. O, sige kay kuya Genesis na lang! Boyfriend mo 'yon no kasi lagi mo hinahanap!" 

I suddenly statue. Shivers ran from my spine to my shoulders. My stomach fluttered as my heart beat frantically inside my ribcage. Ni hindi 'ko mabilang ang tibok nito sa sobrang bilis. I blinked hard as a memory flashed through my vision. Napakagat ako nang maalala ang nangyari sa loob ng kanyang sasakyan. How those deep and intense eyes were landed on me with authenticity and fortitude. The little and messy fight. The real confession. And because, I am scared little shit, I ran away quickly without even glancing tita Hannah and tito Justin at the main door. Ni isang tingin 'di ko sila binigyan dahil sa kabog ng dibdib na nararamdaman. How unfortunate our unexpected meeting?

Sa tingin 'ko, madungis na ang imahe 'ko kay tita Hannah at tito Justin.

And yes, it's been really weeks since that affirmation, I haven't do anything but to ignore him. What would I do then? Bakit, parang sa isip 'ko, joke lang lahat kahit na sobrang seryoso niya noong araw na 'yon? Ako, magugustuhan niya?  Bakit parang mali? How could he like me when I know all he have for me is...hate?

Wala pang nakakaalam ng tungkol doon dahil hindi 'ko pa sinasabihan ang mga babaeng 'kong pinsan. Even though, I know I trust their sentiments more than mine right now. I really need them but I am scared...scared of what?

Genesis a.k.a. the Satan of my life likes me very well.

"Ay, si ate, hindi tinaggi! You like kuya Genesis!"

Jeremiah snapped me out of my thought. Hindi 'ko pansin ang pag-awang ng aking bibig. Tinuro-turo pa niya 'yon hanggang sa isara 'ko na lamang. I quickly looked away and crossed my arms. "Bibig mo!" ang tangi 'kong nasabi.