In Between (SC, #4)

Kabanata 45

**Last five chapters, thank you for holding on! :'<

Kabanata 45

Wish

"It's my fault." The first three words I uttered when I saw Jace. He offered me the Roasted Milk Tea from Taste from the Greens. Kinuha 'ko naman iyon at nakabusangot na sinisip ang inumin habang nakatingin sa daan. I closed my eyes tightly and sucked on a handful of breath before opening it. I sipped on the Milk Tea again, and whipped my head to him. He just rubbed the back of his neck with a lopsided grin. Like this is nothing to worry about.

Maybe.

It is not maybe!

The guilt felt heavy against my chest. Na maaaring ako ang dahilan nang hindi pagtuloy ng pamilya sa selebrasyon ng kaarawan niya. That my no made me messed up the whole surprise thing. Last two weeks, tita Hannah showed in front of our house and asked me to join their family somewhere in Tagaytay. Except without Genesis. It felt weird to celebrate it with them, you know. Jace and I are friends. Anong gagawin 'ko roon? It was a family matters without the other son. Iyon pa nga ang nakakapagtaka dahil family without Genesis? It's weird, okay? I asked Genesis if he was really busy. He said yes but he always have time for everyone.

I don't know, really. May hindi pagkakaunawaan ba ang dalawa since the past incident? I thought tita Hannah would get over it. Whatever this deep-seated issue between them, I really do hope they resolve it. They are family. They supposed to figure it out sooner without any more issue. Genesis would apologize. He will always, even it is not his fault just to really work it out.

"You have this face," ani Jace, unti-unting kumurba ang labi.

My brows scrunched more. Even my whole features followed. My face told him to say it within a heartbeat because I became more agitated with this feeling. I don't want to let down anyone or anything. It's my fault really! Kung bakit hindi natuloy silang pamilya sa pagse-celebrate dahil humindi ako. Na nagkaroon ng maliit na pag-aaway si tita Hannah at Jace sa araw pa ng kaarawan niya. It sucked. Really, really stink here inside my chest.

Jace only patted my head and chuckled that made way through my chest. He somehow lifted some parts but still heavy in my chest. Mas lalo akong napabusangot nang dahil doon. Dahil parang wala lang sa kanya 'yon. Sa akin kasi, I will be...really thrashing things out. Siguro hindi siya magsasaka katulad 'ko.  Na madaling magtanim ng utang loob kapag hindi nangyari ang isang bagay, kapag nasaktan. Hmp. Actually, that is one of my New Year's resolutions. Don't get hurt and expect too much. H'wag magtanim ng sama loob. H'wag masyadong ma-pride. Let's do it this year!

"It's okay, Ish. We're fine now. Mom is in speaking terms with me now. H'wag mo na masyadong isipin 'yong nangyari. H'wag ka ng mag-alala. I cleared things out with my mother. Nasa kanya na lang 'yon, kung naintindihan niya talaga na magkaibigan lang tayo. I don't know why she keeps on pairing us but we're really have this great friendship." Pinagsalikop niya ang dalawang libreng kamay namin. He raised it up in the air. Tumingala ako para tignan iyon. And I can't help but smile at it even the Saturday scorching heat pained my eyes. "I am really disappointed, really. With her."

"Sorry..." ang tanging masasabi 'ko. Binaba niya ang mga kamay namin. He unhinged our hands and I settled it around my Milk Tea. I sipped again and the sweets dried my throat. Napalunok ako ng laway dahil doon.

"Don't apologize. It will be forgotten. Soon."

I only nodded. I mentally listed out the things I needed to finish today and tomorrow. Three months and my second year in college will end. I could smell the summer even it is too far and too good to be true. Ang dami pang requirements this semester and I am freaking out internally and cheering myself that I can do it! I blinked back all the things inside my head. The departmental exams for the two majors...the final examinations for the minors..the P.E. final test...the org I've been eyeing since the first year of college. Ang mga commitments 'ko sa mga former 'kong classmates sa mga minor na hindi 'ko ka-college. Damn, the records are too long to be mentally programmed.